


Sunsets

by Siteare



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Awkward Crush, Bullying, Class Differences, F/M, Gatherings, Kittypets (Warriors), Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, One-Sided Attraction, Overprotective, Reader-Insert, RiverClan (Warriors), Swimming, ThunderClan (Warriors)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siteare/pseuds/Siteare
Summary: You're an average apprentice in RiverClan, that enjoys being the only apprentice in said clan.That is, until one day three rogues stand in the entrance of your camp, one of which starts to grow attached to you.(Reader is female, some parts are rewritten.)





	1. They don't deserve it

It was a day like any other - or not, maybe.   
You couldn't tell it would be so different that morning, as you took a mouse from the freshkill pile and walked over to your mentor, Shadepelt, to share it.

Shadepelt was quite an old she-cat. She had gray hairs around her muzzle, and you'd surely be her last apprentice before she would join the elders.

Nevertheless, she wasn't like the elders in your clan yet. She was quite friendly, supportive, helpful, everything a mentor needed to be.

Maybe that's why she was such an important cat in your life - even if that was about to change.

Just as you bit into the mouse after the dark-gray she-cat had taken the first bite, a loud yowl was heard through camp.

"Leopardstar!"  
You recognized the voice as Blackclaw, and stood up to see what was going on.  
"We have found rogues in our territory- peaceful."

You watched the three unfamiliar cats next to the RiverClan cats.  
Two clearly young, apprentice-age maybe, and a grown she-cat, that seemed more confident than you'd ever dare to look when being in a stranger's camp.

Leopardstar came from her den, muscles rippled underneath unusually spotted pelt. She flattened her ears and held back a snarl when she saw the rogues.

"What do you want?" She growled.

"Please," the cream she-cat meowed, dipping her head, "...we do not mean any harm. My kits, they are injured- we need help, desperately. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, just please help my kits!"

Leopardstar eyed the two younger cats, the golden tabby was shivering, so was her brother, who actually cried a bit, probably in pain as you noticed the fresh nick in his ear.

"Why is he bleeding?" You asked.  
Shadepelt pulled you a bit back.  
"Shush," she meowed, "...they might be tricking us."

Leopardstar scoffed.  
"We have no place for kits that are not our own. And we do not need lazy mouths to feed." 

"I can hunt! I will hunt for your clan! My kits, they are tough, they learn quick!" The she-cat pleaded.

Your leader narrowed her amber eyes.  
"Your kits are weak. They look like they've been eating bones." She snarled.

The rogue she-cat whimpered.  
"Yes," she agreed, "...that's why I seek help... I can't let my kits die out there- not when BloodClan has just been chased out."

You cringed at the name those savage cats had given their group, and pressed yourself against Shadepelt.  
Your sister had been killed in that battle.  
Shadepelt touched your shoulder with her white-tipped tail in comfort.

Leopardstar seemed to relax a bit more, though she was still clearly tense.  
"I will allow it. For now. One wrong step and you're out." She growled.

The rogue sighed in relief.  
"Thank you, Leopardstar. I can't express how thankful I am."

Leopardstar scoffed.  
"You better be. I expect you and your kits on best behaviour."

The she-cat nodded, and turned her head to her still trembling kits.  
"Come on, you two, say thank you!"  
Her voice sounded a bit desperate.

The brown tabby bowed before Leopardstar, trying not to cry, as did his sister, but she looked up to Leopardstar.

"Thank you, m-miss Leopardstar..." The golden she-cat stuttered. Her brother whimpered a bit, though seemed to mean the same.

Leopardstar flattened her ears, and looked over to Blackclaw.  
"What are their names?"

"This is Hawk," the rogue she-cat piped in, pointing at her brown striped son, "...and Moth."   
The golden tabby murmured something you couldn't hear.

"Hm. Get Hawk to Mudfur." Leopardstar hissed. "I'll have a clan meeting as soon as you're finished. (Y/N)!"

You shot up from your seat, and flinched.  
You straightened your back and perked your ears up.

"You will make sure Hawk does not disrespect Mudfur." She commanded.

You nodded eagerly, and jumped over to Hawk, who whined as you jumped next to him.  
He looked completely undernurished and starved, not to mention the muddy fur stuck to his body and showed his ribs, though you could smell it wasn't water that made him look so wet.

You nudged your head in the direction of the medicine cat's den, and the rogue hesitated at first, but as both Leopardstar and Blackclaw glared at him, he feeped and ran after you.

He seemed to not understand personal space yet, because he pressed his dirty fur against your body as he whined in fear.

"It's uh, gonna be okay?" You meowed a bit startled, then led him into Mudfur's den by urging him on with your tail.

Once in the den, Hawk crouched immediately, apparently still really scared, even if it were just you, him and Mudfur now.

Speaking of the medicine cat, he scrunched up his nose as he caught a first glance of Hawk.  
"What's this rat doing in my den?" He hissed, and flattened his ears.

"His name is Hawk. He's allowed to stay here for now, he's got a nick in his ear." You briefly explained.

Mudfur almost stomped over to Hawk, and practically yanked him over to a nest because the young tom refused to follow the medicine cat.  
"Apparently a nick's not the only thing he's got. He's got scabies and ticks, it looks like he's never eaten anything either!"

Hawk whined as the brown medicine cat pushed back his fur, revealing irritated, red skin.  
Mudfur hissed a bit under his breath.

"Can't believe this. Honestly, I'm surprised he's not dead."  
He got to work, you just kind of stood there for a while.  
Hawk whimpered during the whole process, apparently still really scared, though you knew he wasn't being hurt by Mudfur. Mudfur could be rough, yes, but he never hurt anyone.

"What're you still doing here? Get this skeleton a fish or something!"

You flinched, not having noticed Mudfur adress you.

"Yeah! Right away!" You nodded, and bound out of the den.

You padded into the clearing of camp, a few dragon flies buzzed around you as you came out and then flew over the walls of camp.  
Cats were not so subtly whispering, and you saw the rogue she-cat and Moth sitting next to the highrock, apparently waiting as Leopardstar was talking to Mistyfoot, your deputy.

You watched them for a few moments, but snapped back into reality by yourself.  
The prey! Don't get distracted.  
You moved over to the freshkill pile, though pouted a bit as you saw a really big fish and a scrappy, scrawny mouse.  
They don't deserve such a big fish.  
You picked up the mouse, and went back into the medicine cat's den.

Hawk feeped a bit when you dropped the mouse in front of him.  
"Uhm..." He squirmed a little, and looked at you with pathetic, blue eyes.

"Eat it." You meowed back.

Hawk flattened his now bandaged ear in shame.  
"Don't you want to share...?" He whimpered.

You shook your head. "Not with a filthy rogue." You hissed.

He lowered his head. "O-of course... thank you."  
He began eating the piece of prey, you watched him through narrowed eyes.  
This dirty stranger came into your clan uninvited, and is eating food that should go to a pregnant she-cat who has served her clan. This rogue hasn't done anything for RiverClan.

Hawk finished the scrappy mouse, swallowing hard at the last bite. He was probably still hungry, because he looked at the bones sadly.

You swiped the left-overs away, to which the brown tabby squeaked in surprise.

"Ugh." You groaned. 

This tom didn't even have enough courage to look you in the eye, and he got startled when you put your paw in front of him.  
What was RiverClan supposed to do with him?


	2. Just keep swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mentors decide to teach Mothpaw and Hawkpaw how to swim.  
> You're not happy about it.

You hated these two rogues and their filthy excuse of a she-cat that said she was their mother.

They smelt awful, not even by RiverClan standards they smelt nice, they smelt of ashes and rotten prey. The only time you ever found that scent acceptable would be in a starvation period, but it currently wasn’t a starvation period, so it was completely unacceptable.

Hawk and his sister Moth had joined RiverClan, and were apprentices now. That’s why the entire apprentice den stank of soot and crow food as well.  
You probably smelt like that too now. At least Shadepelt had said it, and you scrunched up your nose whenever you went to sleep in your ash-smelling nest, which you had tried to move as far away from those two excuses of apprentices as possible, but the den was small, and your fur still touched Hawk’s when you bristled it up in anger.

Their names were Hawkpaw and Mothpaw now. You didn’t understand- or maybe you didn’t want to- why Leopardstar had let them stay. Their mother hadn’t even kept her part of the deal. She laid around camp all day, fussed over her kits, and complained that there wasn’t enough on the freshkill pile, yet she didn’t hunt herself.

Sasha, you had heard was her name. Filthy freeloader was more like it.

At least Hawkpaw and Mothpaw tried to hunt. At least they tried to swim. At least they did something and weren’t taking advantage of anyone.

Today was another day in which Leopardstar told Shadepelt to tag along with her and Blackclaw. You were still sort of mad at the fact these two rogues got mentored by Leopardstar and Blackclaw, the leader herself and by far the best warrior in all the clans. Then again… maybe Leopardstar wanted to keep a close eye on Hawkpaw, and Blackclaw for sure wasn’t one to be soft on rogues.

„(Y/N), Leopardstar wants us to-“ – „I heard it. Don’t breathe in my face.“  
Hawkpaw flinched a bit at your harsh tone, and took his head out of the apprentice’s den again.

You grumbled a bit, and got up.

Mothpaw and her brother were already sitting there, waiting for their mentors.  
You looked around a little, Leopardstar was talking to Mistyfoot. Why does she always do that, tell you to come out of the den and then she goes off to talk to someone else?  
You growled.

Mothpaw looked over to you, and greeted you with a sort of awkward smile.  
„Hi, (Y/N). Did you sleep well?“ She asked, acting as if you could get a second of good sleep with them stinking up the entire den.  
You hissed in reply, which shut the golden she-cat up.

Shadepelt and Blackclaw walked over next to each other. You had wondered a few times if they were related to each other or not, since they looked so similar. Both had dark pelts, bright eyes, and thin tails. Maybe they were cousins or something.

„Good morning, you three. We’ll be learning how to swim today.“ Blackclaw announced. 

You groaned a bit. „If these two fat rats won’t float…“

Mothpaw had apparently heard it, because she flattened her ears a little with a look of self-doubt on her face.

„Just listen to what Shadepelt and I instruct you to do, and you’ll be fine. We’ll stay next to you the entire time.“ Blackclaw reassured them.

Mothpaw seemed a bit more happy now, and her brother whined a bit. It was a happy whine though, which he tended to do quite often.  
She licked over his ear a bit.

Leopardstar came over to you as well now, and nodded to your mentors.  
„Are we all ready?“ She asked.  
The two dark-furred warriors nodded.

„Is mom not coming with us?“ Hawkpaw sounded sad, his ears flattened a bit.  
Leopardstar shook her head. „She wants to help out in camp.“  
„But she always helps out in camp! Can’t she come watch us for one day?“ Mothpaw asked, tilting her head.  
Blackclaw and Shadepelt rolled their green eyes at each other.  
You did the same.  
Leopardstar shrugged.  
„I’ll ask her if she wants to come along tomorrow.“  
„She doesn’t want to come along…?“ Mothpaw meowed quietly, sounded sad.  
Typical rogue. Why doesn’t she just ask her mother right now?

„Let’s go. We can tell her all about what we did when we come back!“ Hawkpaw inquired, and nuzzled his golden striped sister in comfort.  
Mothpaw sniffed a bit, „…ok.“

Blackclaw flicked his tail.  
„Then let’s finally go.“ He growled a bit.

You stood up eagerly, and jumped next to Shadepelt. The two of you walked ahead, though from paw steps behind you you could hear that the other two pairs were following.

The territory looked quite nice today. Dragon-flies were flying around your paws, and the air was a tad bit humid, leaf green was setting in.   
You looked over to the small streams that sprung through the grassy areas, they were all flowing in an almost happy manner.

The way you could see small, tiny fishes swim in them almost made you forget the two awful smelling cats next to you.

That was, until Hawkpaw brushed his tabby pelt against yours to see what you were looking at.  
You hissed instinctively, and jumped a bit away from him, to which the apprentice whined a little.

„Prey is rich today.“ Leopardstar noted. „Maybe we can catch some while the apprentices are swimming. The water’s should be shallow, and one of us can watch them.“

You looked over to the three cats, Shadepelt and Blackclaw nodded in agreement.

„(Y/N) can watch them. She already knows how to swim anyway.“ Shadepelt suggested.  
What? You were supposed to watch those wretched rats?

Blackclaw raised his eyebrow at her words.  
„But doesn’t your apprentice hate Hawkpaw and Mothpaw?“ He asked.  
The darkgray she-cat shrugged. „When you let them, apprentices will always shuffle together. (Y/N) doesn’t have any friends, she’ll realize that the two are pretty nice.“

Nice? Rogues? Yeah, whatever.

Blackclaw shook his head. „You seem very confident in your apprentice. She’s one of the most traditional cats…“

You scoffed, and turned away from the conversation. At least Blackclaw seemed to acknowledge you.

Hawkpaw and Mothpaw were pawing at a wide, shallow stream now. A fish sprung up, and slapped Hawkpaw in the face, resulting in him squeaking.  
Mothpaw laughed, and the fish flopped on the shore.

You jumped over, before the prey could escape back in the water and you killed it with a swift bite.

„Woah! That was amazing, (Y/N)!“ Hawkpaw meowed, his ears wriggling a bit, clearly impressed.  
You huffed a bit in response with narrowed eyes.

Of course a rogue would be impressed, that fish had already been immobilized.

„Mothpaw, Hawkpaw! Get away from there, we didn’t give the signal yet!“ 

You looked over to the hill the three mentors were standing on.  
Mothpaw and her brother did as told, and jumped a bit away from said stream.

Leopardstar came down from the hill first.  
„As said… you’re learning how to swim today. Swimming is an essential part of RiverClan, it’s what makes us unique from the others. You’ll be able to escape over streams and lakes, while your enemies struggle to even stay up on the surface.“

Mothpaw seemed quite enthusiastic at her mentor’s words, though Hawkpaw started shivering a bit.

What a coward, the water didn’t even reach up to your nose. He couldn’t drown unless he really tried.

Shadepelt was next to you now, and sniffed a bit at your catch. She touched your shoulder with her slim tail to get your attention.

„Hm?“ You made.  
Shadepelt dipped her head. „Good catch. It’s quite a nice fish.“  
You smiled, and nodded as well. „Thank you.“

Leopardstar and Blackclaw watched Hawkpaw and Mothpaw slowly watt into the water, the golden she-cat seemed excited, her brother still shivered.

You jumped into the stream, it was a pleasant temperature today.

Hawkpaw feeped, he got splashed a little, his sister yelped, though happily.

It was just some water, why was this tom so nervous? StarClan, if he’d get brushed by a fish he’d faint.

„Ok you two, you’ll float a bit at first, but don’t be scared of that. Just don’t squirm around wildly.“ Blackclaw instructed. He himself couldn’t swim in the stream, it was too shallow.

Mothpaw looked at her legs for a few moments, then jumped over into the deeper water and started floating.  
Her brother stayed in place, still shivering.

You walked over from your spot, and shoved him a bit.  
„What’s wrong? It’s just water!“ You spat.   
Hawkpaw whimpered a little. „I-I’m scared of water…“

A RiverClan cat that’s scared of water. Just perfect.

„It’s ok, I was a dry paw as an apprentice too.“ Leopardstar reassured him, and stepped next to his side. Hawkpaw smiled a little up at her, though was still clearly afraid.  
The leader guided him into the deeper water with her tail.  
„I’m right next to you, it’s ok.“ She comforted him.

You scoffed, and looked over to Mothpaw, who was already kicking her legs happily, apparently having caught onto swimming by herself.  
„Blackclaw, look how good I can swim!“ She chirped.   
Hawkpaw’s mentor looked over, and smiled. „You’re doing great, Mothpaw!“

You flattened your ears. This sucked, they were getting praised like little kits, meanwhile Sasha was stuffing herself full in camp and she wasn’t even here to comfort her crying kit.

Hawkpaw was floating in the water now, and experimentally kicked his paws. He didn’t quite get the hang of it yet, but he seemed to have the right idea.

„Okay, us warriors will go to the deeper streams now. You three stay here, and don’t get into any trouble.“ Leopardstar announced.

You groaned. You really had to stay with these stupid rougues.  
Mothpaw nodded. „I’ll watch over them!“  
Shadepelt chuckled. „More like they’ll watch her…“

Leopardstar dipped her head. „We’ll be back by sunset. Practise your swimming while we’re gone.“  
„And what am I supposed to do?“ You grumbled.

The three cats ignored you, and walked away.  
Wow, so they didn’t even have an answer.

You started watching the two apprentices swim, Mothpaw was clearly more confident in her swimming than Hawkpaw.

StarClan, this was boring.

You walked out of the water, and shook your pelt dry.

„Where are you going?“ Hawkpaw squeaked, his voice almost hurt your ears.  
„None of your business.“ – „Leopardstar said we should practise swimming!“

You whipped your head around.  
„I can already swim! Kits learn this kind of stuff, we’re practising in a kit pool!“  
The two siblings flinched.

„Do me a favor and leave me alone, I’m going hunting.“ You growled.

You turned back around, you could still feel the two of them watching you.  
You heard them whisper something as you were already walking away, and you heard some water splash.

They were following you. You could smell them come closer.  
You decided to just let them, whatever, at least now they’d see how a real clan cat hunted.

The territory was buzzing with prey today, numerous mice had left whiffs in the air already as you walked past, but you didn’t want to catch a mouse. You wanted something bigger. 

Finally you stopped near a bush, you could clearly smell it, a rabbit was nearby.  
You sniffed the air a bit. A big one too. 

You went into what you believed was a perfect hunting crouch, Mothpaw and Hawkpaw had stopped walking a few fox lengths away.  
You glanced behind yourself, and saw them ''hiding'' in a bush. Mothpaw’s ear tufts poked out of the leaves.

You huffed a bit, and turned your attention back to the rabbit that you now felt had sprung a bit closer, and was sniffing a the ground nearby.  
You stalked closer to the prey, and lowered your head a bit more as you caught sight of it.  
The rabbit was still innocently eating some grass.  
Not for much longer.

You pounced onto it from a few fox lengths away, the rabbit let out an ear-piercing shriek which was quickly silenced as you bit through it’s neck and killed it.

Leaves ruffled nearby, and Mothpaw and her brother came tumbling out of the bush they had been hiding in.  
„That was amazing!“ Mothpaw declared, „…again!“

Hawkpaw nodded in agreement. „I wanna be as good as a hunter as you today.“ He smiled a little.

Maybe these rodents could be useful as hunters, since that’s the only thing rogues had to be decent at to survive.  
You scoffed.

„Mothpaw! Hawkpaw! (Y/N)!“   
You heard Shadepelt call for you. That soon? Wow, they were really fast.  
You padded over to where you had heard the noises from.

„Yes?“ You meowed, seeing your mentor back on the hill you had started out on.  
The darkgray she-cat whipped around.  
„There you are! Do you have any idea how worried I was?“

Hawkpaw and Mothpaw slowly walked out of hiding as well.

„They were supposed to stay here and practise swimming!“ She exclaimed.  
You flicked your ear. "Are Leopardstar and Blackclaw searching too?"

Shadepelt shook her head. „I wanted to get the fish, but now that I saw you abandoned your duty-“ – „I already know how to swim, Shadepelt. We could have gone hunting, since that’s what you’re doing anyway.“

Shadepelt hissed. „Are you the mentor or me? Show some respect!“  
She cuffed you over the ear.  
You flinched a little, though just gave her an angry glare back.

„Get back in the water before Leopardstar finds out about this.“ She demanded.

She turned her head to Hawkpaw and Mothpaw. „She’ll kick you out once she knows about this. You remember her words, no? One wrong step and you’re out.“

Hawkpaw and Mothpaw nodded, watting back into the water.  
You followed.

That moment, said leader and Blackclaw came back, smiling as they both held a fish in their muzzle.  
„I told you they’d come together- you just have to let them.“


	3. Hate to break it to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at camp you find out why Hawkpaw is so afraid of water.  
> You also comment on his mother.

You had to clean up camp for the rest of the day.

Leopardstar had found out, but to your surprise she hadn’t kicked Hawkpaw and Mothpaw out.  
They just got the same punishment as you, and you hated it.

Couldn’t Leopardstar at least seperate them? That would be more punishment than having them laugh and joke next to you.

„No, Heavystep said it was this big!“ Hawkpaw extended his paws, showing what he claimed was the size of a leopard.  
„Then they’re tiny! I could take one on!“ Mothpaw protested, „…they’re supposed to be big and scary! Like badgers and mountain lions combined!“

You rolled your eyes. Heavystep knew nothing about predators, and neither did these two with listening to him.  
„You’re both wrong.“ You hissed under your breath.

„What?“ Hawkpaw tilted his head.   
„I said you’re both wrong. Leopards aren’t kit-sized.“ You scoffed, throwing some used moss into his face.  
Hawkpaw squeaked, and tumbled over out of surprise.

Mothpaw glanced at her brother and laughed.  
„Then how big are they, (Y/N)?“ Her voice sounded taunting.  
You threw some moss in her face too.  
Mothpaw didn’t fall over, but she stumbled backwards and shook her head in confusion until the moss fell off.

„They’re as big as this den.“ You pointed at the roof of the elder’s den, it was a tree hollow with it’s roof broken off. It wasn’t too big in theory.  
„And they’re as long as the apprentice’s den… if you count the tail.“

"What are you doing talking about panthers and leopards? My ticks aren’t going to pluck themself!"  
Loudbelly growled from inside the den. He may be the only elder, but being next to him was like having four cats nag at you.

You groaned.  
"I'll get some mouse bil-", – "I’ll get it!"  
Mothpaw jumped up.  
Typical rogue. Getting something extra slow to slack off.

She trotted off, a spring in her step as she walked over to Mudfur’s den.

"Mothpaw really likes Mudfur." Hawkpaw piped up, massaging the new batch of moss into a soft nest. You flicked your ear.  
"Does she now?" You grumbled.  
"Yeah! She wants to be a medicine cat one day!" He sounded really excited.

You narrowed your eyes at him.  
"She won't be training with us any longer then. She and Mudfur will train alone, and you won't see her as much." You murmured.  
"Oh..." Hawkpaw lowered his head.  
"Besides, who would help you swim? You're gonna drown all on your own, you're terrible at it."

The brown tabby visibly frowned.  
"I wouldn't- I can't..." He stuttered.  
"Why are you so scared of swimming? It's just water." You scoffed.

Hawkpaw looked away, shivering a little. He better not start crying now.  
"M-my brother... he drowned in front of me after he had saved me and my sister..."  
You raised an eyebrow.  
"So? That wasn't the water's fault. It's your fault, since you were too weak to save yourself."  
His ears flattened, and Hawkpaw opened his blue eyes. "I never looked at it that way..."

You huffed. "My sister died in the BloodClan battle. Do you know why?"  
The brown tabby looked over to you, and shook his head.

"Because she was too weak to save herself. She died because she slacked off on training and took everything easy."  
You folded the moss, and put it down in the elder's den.  
"Taking it easy won't make you survive. Hard work will."

Hawkpaw trembled a little. He looked a bit shocked, then slowly nodded.  
"Y-yeah... you're right."   
His voice didn't stutter as much.

You shook your head a little.  
"What does your mother think of all this? She doesn't even have a clan name." 

The apprentice kneaded the moss a little in nervosity.  
"She... I don't know if she even cares anymore. All she does is nod when I talk to her..." He murmured.

"Your mother is lazy. She doesn't even hunt for the clan like she promised." You narrowed your eyes. "She shouldn't be here."

"You don't get to decide that!" Mothpaw suddenly interfered.  
The mouse bile laid in front of her paws.

You turned your head to her, and were about to speak, but Hawkpaw was quicker.  
"When was the last time she asked about our training...?"

Mothpaw stared at the mouse bile.  
"She cares! She just... she's busy in camp! We should be thanking her, she brought us here!" She cried.

"Sasha doesn't do anything." You flattened your ears. "She eats prey and sits around."

"No! That's not true! She always says she's busy- she wouldn't lie!" Mothpaw protested.

You flicked your ear.  
"Then what's she doing over there?"  
You pointed at Sasha.

The cream she-cat was eating a bird by the sunning rocks in camp.  
She wasn't doing anything.

"She..." Mothpaw croaked, "...she doesn't lie..."  
The golden tabby lowered her head.  
"Mom..."

"Sasha's a liar." You scoffed. "A dirty, lazy liar of a rogue. She's got zero respect for RiverClan... much less for you."  
You flattened your ears.  
"She doesn't even ask about your training?"

Mothpaw was trying not to cry, Hawkpaw shook his head.

"She's no mother." You hissed.


	4. That's nice of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking and going on a hunt

Mothpaw didn't like you that much anymore. She didn't greet you with a smile anymore, and she avoided looking at you.  
You found it better that way.  
At least now she didn't bother you anymore either.

Besides, Hawkpaw had grown fond of you. He constantly wanted to impress you, it was almost pathetic.  
You wouldn't call yourself hard to impress, but his attempts were weak and stupid.

He had tried talking more to his mother after you had told him Sasha wasn't a good mother.  
But he started to get desperate.

Hawkpaw trotted over to you, his head hung low.  
You glanced at him before going back to grooming your fur.  
"Let me guess 'yes, honey' and 'mh-hm, mh-hm.'" You imitated Sasha's voice.  
The brown tabby frowned.  
"Everything was so much nicer when it was just us four! I don't know why she's like that now..."  
You sighed. As much as you hated this rogue, you hated Sasha more.

She was currently eating a fish next to Leopardstar.  
You swore, if it weren't for your leader liking that filthy she-cat she'd be long gone. Maybe then she'd have more 'time' for her kits.

"She's unbearable." You snarled.  
Hawkpaw didn't protest.

Mothpaw came over to Sasha now, who immediately started to look bored.  
The golden tabby looked happy as she talked, but a look of hurt appeared on her face as her mother didn't even look at her and just nodded as she ate her fish again.  
Mothpaw frowned, said something else and walked over to you two.

"(Y/N) is right. Mom doesn't even care!" Hawkpaw meowed with an angry voice.  
His sister shivered a little.  
"I told her I wanted to be a medicine cat. Leopardstar was more supportive than her! And she's not even my mentor!" Mothpaw complained.

You blinked a bit.  
You really didn't want to talk about Sasha and awful parenting.

"You want to be a medicine cat?" You asked, picking the most pleasant topic out of the conversation.  
Mothpaw looked down at her light cream paws.  
"Yeah... Leopardstar says it's really hard." She sounded doubtful.  
"Well, you won't have to focus on being a warrior anymore. All you'd have to think about is heerrrbsss." You slurred.

Hawkpaw snorted, and turned his head to Mothpaw.  
"(Y/N) is right, you can do it!" He encouraged.  
The golden she-cat smiled a little.  
"Thanks... that's nice of you." She murmured.

You flicked your ear. This was getting boring.  
You got up to go over to the camp entrance.

Hawkpaw followed you with his blue eyes.  
"Are you going hunting?" He asked.  
You shrugged.  
"Maybe... just a walk, maybe if I feel like I'll hunt." You murmured in response.  
The brown tabby jumped next to you, his ears wiggled a little.  
"Can I come with you?" He asked, smiling to better his chances.  
You looked at him for a few moments.  
He was starting to gain muscles from swimming every day, though every RiverClan cat was typically muscular by default. If they didn't, they weren't too thrilled about going swimming.

You shrugged again, and walked out of the entrance, Hawkpaw followed with an little squeak.  
StarClan, was he still a kit? Only kits squeaked like that.

The ground was soft today, it had rained the night before.  
The air smelt pleasant you found, the wet earth was nice.

You flicked your ears, you heard some sparrows and larks chirp nearby. They had just gotten up it seemed, as the sun was just starting to rise.  
As you looked up ahead you could see said sun, it was touching the grass over the rivers.

"The sunrise is so beautiful."  
Hawkpaw looked at you, smiling.

"Hm?" You looked back at him as well, raising an eyebrow.

Hawkpaw laughed a little, and pointed his paw towards the sun.  
You blinked a bit, then turned your gaze over at said sunrise, yes, it was indeed beautiful, but you could see that yourself without having it pointed out.

You started walking towards the river that was kissed by the light of the sun, and looked down at it briefly. Some tadpoles were swimming in it.

"Woah!" Hawkpaw was next to you, and crouched down to see the small black creatures wriggling around. He looked up at you with wide eyes.  
"What are those?"

"They're tadpoles. Frog season is coming next moon." You meowed.

Hawkpaw wiggled his ears in interest. "My brother's name was Tadpole."  
He smiled, "...I can't believe he was named after these things!"  
The brown tabby laughed a little, and stuck one of his paws into the water, the small tadpoles brushed against his pink paw pads.

"They grow into frogs." You meowed.  
He turned his head to you, his blue eyes widened.  
"Frogs? But they're so ugly!" - "Hey, that's toads! Frogs are green and cute!"

Hawkpaw laughed, and jumped into the stream, he had gotten more used to water ever since you had talked to him about it.

"(Y/N), you're always so grumpy, I didn't think I'd ever hear you out of all cats call a frog cute!" He chuckled.

You splashed water in his face, to which Hawkpaw squeaked with laughter.

"You don't exactly make me happy." You murmured, standing up.

The brown tabby perked his torn ear up, "...oh? And how do I please the great (Y/N)?"

"Getting out of my clan would be a start." You hissed.

Hawkpaw flattened both his darkbrown-tipped ears.  
"(Y/N), you know I can't do that."  
His laugh and chuckle had faded.

You huffed. "Why not? You can clearly hunt for yourself now. You're wasting RiverClan's food and space." You narrowed your eyes, "...I don't even want to think of all the times your fur touched mine."

Hawkpaw seemed taken aback, his face was changing expressions and his ears shifted wildly.  
"(Y/N), I like RiverClan. My sister likes it here. I like it here."

"And so does your mother, who lazes around and does nothing but eat our hard-earned prey. You're just like her." You spat.

Hawkpaw frowned, and jumped out of the stream.  
"That's nor true. Sasha may be lazy and disrespect RiverClan- my clan- but I don't."  
He stepped a bit closer to your face.  
"I would die for RiverClan. Would you?"

You growled, and scoffed at his face that was a meere mouse length apart from you.  
"Yes. My entire family has died for RiverClan, and so will I."

Hawkpaw's fur bristled.  
"I don't get why you're so hissy to my sister and I. Sasha I can understand, but what did I ever do to you?" He muttered, stepping back again.

You flattened your ears.  
"You've done nothing for RiverClan to get in, and your mother broke the promise she made." You scoffed.

The apprentice hissed back at you, and raised a paw.  
"I'm not responsible for my damn mother! She may have dragged me into this, but I'm pulling my own weight unlike her!"

You hissed as well, fur bristling just like his.  
"I don't care that you have mommy issues, I care that you have no place here."

"RiverClan is my home. And I won't let you take that from me, (Y/N)."


	5. Unsure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something goes wrong at battle practise.

Hawkpaw was trying to pretend whatever had happened hadn't happened.

You respected him a bit more now, since it was obvious that he considered RiverClan his home.  
And any cat that would die for RiverClan was not exactly a threat anymore.

Still... it was awkward. You weren't sure what to think of the darkbrown tabby anymore.  
You weren't... scared of him, per say. He was still the same cat that was scared of water, and he had told you a ton about how he felt and his past.  
There really wasn't much to be afraid of, you thought.  
If he trusted you with this much info, he surely wouldn't harm you, right?

Mothpaw apparently had noticed nothing of it.  
She seemed oblivious to your discomfort around Hawkpaw, and maybe that was for the better.

"(Y/N), stop day-dreaming!" Shadepelt hissed under her breath.

You blinked a bit, and your eyes went into focus again.

Blackclaw and Leopardstar were demonstrating how to pin down an enemy.  
It was happening so quick though, and they explained nothing, so you'd be better off watching a butterfly and trying to learn how to fly.

Leopardstar had the black warrior pinned in mere seconds, and her spotted paws rested on his neck.

"You two better have paid attention!"  
She snapped her head to you and Hawkpaw.

Mothpaw wasn't with you- she had gotten caught "bothering" Mudfur.  
The tom hadn't even been doing anything, and he sure wasn't too annoyed teaching a cat how to use herbs.  
You really didn't understand Leopardstar. It was so obvious both Mothpaw and Mudfur wanted the golden tabby to be his apprentice, so why deny them that?  
Either way, Mothpaw was stuck in camp now, cleaning the dens.

Hawkpaw suddenly stood up next to you, and got into a wide stance.  
He looked at his paws for a few moments, adjusting his position, then raised his head to look at you.  
"You start?"

You blinked.  
"Huh?" You muttered.

"You attack first, try to pin me down." Hawkpaw summed up briefly.

"Oh, yeah." You meowed, noticing the weird gaze Shadepelt gave you. "I've got a lot on my mind."

Hawkpaw flicked his torn ear, and raised his chin slightly, apparently that had striked his interest.  
"Why?"

You waggled around on your hind paws, figuring out how much strength you'd need to throw the bigger apprentice off-balance.  
"Dunno. Can tell you later." You muttered.

Hawkpaw didn't seem entirely satisfied with your answer, but you weren't going to let him dwell on it as you jumped at him and hit him on the shoulders.

The two of you didn't fall over, but you did manage to make Hawkpaw jump up on his hind legs, and you started to fight against his weight to knock him down.

The darkbrown tom wasn't exactly small anymore, and he had gotten much more bulky than you had expected from a former stray- especially one with a mother as fat as Sasha.

Hawkpaw quickly overpowered you, and pressed you down on your front paws, resulting in you falling over and being pinned down.

You let out a yelp as you hit the ground, and widened your eyes.

"Crap." You hissed under your breath.  
Your paws immediately started growing numb, Hawkpaw was quite heavy.  
As you looked down to try and see your hind legs, Hawkpaw stomped on those too so you couldn't kick them.

"Ow!" You squeaked, and flinched a bit.  
You thrashed around a little, but it didn't help anything.  
Hawkpaw's blue eyes were still focused on you in an extremely concentrated manner as you glanced up at him again.

You considered your options for a few moments, before sighing frustrated.  
"Guess I can't bite you, get off." You grumbled, squirming a bit more to get Hawkpaw to get off quicker.

The darkbrown tabby did as told, and looked over at his dark-furred mentor.  
"Excellent work, Hawkpaw! She didn't stand a chance!"

You got back up as well, moving your paws a bit to regain the feeling in them.  
"I didn't stand much at all, snrk." You snorted.

Shadepelt didn't take this lightly at all. You had failed to get back up by yourself, had this not been training you would have been dead.

You felt her emerald gaze bury into your fur, and bristled your pelt a little before stepping back around.

"Ok, you attack now." You meowed to Hawkpaw, beckoning him with your tail.

The brown tabby didn't even nod, he jumped straight at you.  
Rather than preparing for impact, you swiftly stepped to the side, resulting in Hawkpaw falling on the ground.  
You were about to fake-claw him, but it was cut short by the tom swiping your forepaws of the ground and you stumbled and fell as well.

Hawkpaw jumped back up again and quickly stood over you, but determined not to be too slow twice, you brought your hind legs up and kicked them in his chest- you wouldn't risk his face because it could result in injury.

Hawkpaw feeped in surprise, and stumbled a bit backwards.  
You shot up and pounced on the taller tabby, but you couldn't pin him down as strong as he had, being the smaller one and all.

"Finally," you heard Shadepelt mutter under her breath, "...she's actually doing something."

You flattened one of your ears slightly, being more distracted by that now than being concentrated on the fight.

Hawkpaw noticed, it was kinda easy to notice, and he grabbed your head... which wasn't a battle move?

You were taken aback before he yanked your head down to him, and squished your face under his neck.

You struggled to break free, but couldn't, really. Something prodded on both sides of your body, and the entirety of you was pulled down as well, resulting in you just kind of plopping down on the bigger tom.

Hawkpaw let go off your head, which you whipped back up immediately.  
You looked at him for a few moments, a bit dazed at his move.  
He looked smug about it, an almost dung-eating smirk rested on his face.  
It kinda made you angry.

You felt your heart pound, you figured it was from the exercise, you wondered if Hawkpaw could feel it as your chest touched his.  
You certainly could feel his heartbeat, it was a tad bit faster than yours, even if he hadn't moved as fast as you.

You tried to gather yourself and your breath.

"Interesting... technique." You grumbled, and tried to get back up but quickly found that something was holding you down.

You turned your gaze, Hawkpaw had his hindlegs wrapped around your frame.  
StarClan, when had you gotten so weak? This shouldn't be a problem to break out of!

You panicked.  
You didn't know why you panicked, but you started to almost unwillingly kick your hind legs, and your front paws began to twitch.  
"Stop it." You mumbled to yourself, almost inaudible.

Hawkpaw flattened his ears, confused by your sudden fidgeting.  
"What's wrong?" He asked, but it sounded more curious than concerned.

Shadepelt was certainly growing irritated with you. She knew you were strong enough to get out of this situation, you had been over this scenario plenty of times!

She glanced over at Leopardstar, the leader had her eyes narrowed in a judgmental manner.

You noticed your breathing growing unsteady. This felt all wrong.  
"Please, take your paws off." You said to Hawkpaw, louder this time.

The apprentice seemed a bit surprised, and did as told.  
You dashed a few fox lengths away from Hawkpaw, but you couldn't really find reasoning as to why- he hadn't hurt you, the grasp hadn't actually harmed you in any way.  
It just felt so wrong.

Hawkpaw stepped closer to you, extending a paw.  
"You ok?" He asked, now showing more concern than before.

You were hearing Blackclaw say something to Leopardstar, but only caught the word 'trauma' or at least what you thought was close to it.

You blinked, squeezing your eyes shut and relishing in the comfort of darkness for a few moments.  
No other cats, no training, just black nothingness.

Focusing on your breath was easier now, ad you breathed in, out... in and out...

You were flung back into reality by a paw on your shoulder, and you visibly flinched.  
Hawkpaw flinched as well.  
"Sorry," he apologized, "...I should have asked."  
His voice was soft and quiet on purpose.

"It's ok."  
Your voice in comparison was harsh.  
"I got a bit side-tracked..."

You turned your head to the three older cats, who all collectively flinched as you stared at them and caught them looking at you.

"I suppose we should end it here." Leopardstar's voice sounded concerned, and you were glad you hadn't gotten scolded for your actions.  
StarClan, if you weren't so used to Hawkpaw's scent you might have instinctively clawed him when he touched your shoulder.

You nodded slowly, and stood up again. Your legs were still shaking a lot, and you really weren't sure why.

The three older cats started walking back to camp, and Leopardstar halted next to you.  
She leaned down a bit next to you.

"Here, you can lean on me." She meowed in a soft voice.

You felt your face grow hot, embarrassed that you started to realize how pathetic you must look, with your trembling legs and traumatized face.

You shook your head, and took a sharp breath.  
"It's getting better." You answered, unsheathing your claws to stop twitching.

The golden spotted she-cat still looked worried.  
"Alright... take the rest of the day off. Is something going on between you and Hawkpaw?"

You flattened your ears at her question.  
"No!" You were a bit ashamed your voice was so loud.  
"I-i mean, no. I just panicked, I suppose."

Leopardstar had flinched a little at your raised voice, then relaxed her muscles again.  
"Okay, but, (Y/N), if there is something going on, I want you to tell me. There's nothing you have to hide from us." She smiled.

You felt your mouth tremble a little, but supposed there wasn't really anything significant to tell your leader.  
You had gotten in a little fight, sure, but you didn't want to bore her with drama.  
You shook your head eventually.  
"I've just got a lot on my mind." You muttered, which wasn't a lie.

Leopardstar's ears shifted, seemingly not quite satisfied with your answer.  
"Alright, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you." The older she-cat meowed.

You nodded, and Leopardstar looked over to where the other three cats had gone.  
Blackclaw and Shadepelt had already gone up-hill, Hawkpaw was however sitting not too far away, apparently waiting with a worried gaze.

"Hawkpaw cares about you, (Y/N)." Leopardstar flicked her tail to the brown tabby, who realized you were looking at him and he turned his head away embarrassed.  
"There's a lot of cats in RiverClan who care about you, (Y/N), even if you may not realize it. Mudfur for one likes your confidence, and Blackclaw admires your determination."

You flicked your ear, but weren't sure if you believed her.  
You mumbled something resembling an okay, and started to pad over to Hawkpaw, who looked back at you now.

"Just don't forget, there's always someone in RiverClan who will care." Leopardstar meowed, before leaping up-hill.

You sighed, ashamed that out of all cats your leader was the one to comfort you.  
Now she surely saw that you weren't ready to become a warrior any-time soon.

"I'm sorry." Hawkpaw apologized, and you turned your head to the tall tom.  
"For what? You did nothing wrong, I overreacted." You meowed back, brushing off his apology.

The tabby apprentice kneaded the ground a little.  
"I didn't want to upset you." He explained, flattenting one of his ears.  
You noticed his face grew a bit red.

"It's ok." You meowed, "...it wasn't your fault."  
You dipped your head to him, and got up to follow your leader up-hill.

Hawkpaw brushed his long-furred pelt against yours.  
"I can walk by myself." You told him, and stepped a bit away from him.  
"Please," his voice sounded a bit mocking, "...you're shaking like a mouse about to be eaten."

You raised one of your eyebrows and looked at your legs.  
Dung, he was right, you had figured you would stook trembling by now, but your body had other plans.  
"Ok." You grumbled, "...just keep your tail where I can see it."

Hawkpaw snorted a little, and let you lean against him.  
It just looked like you were walking next to each other, which you preferred over looking like a mouse about to be eaten in front of Leopardstar and your mentor.

The two of you started to slowly walk up-hill, and you saw Shadepelt and Blackclaw already sitting near the camp entrance.  
The training area was not too far away from camp, so you reached it quickly.  
By the time you were there, you had stopped shivering and Shadepelt flicked her white-tipped tail at you.

You dipped your head to Hawkpaw to dismiss yourself, and the brown tabby nodded before jumping into camp.  
"Mothpaw!" He squealed, and you saw his sister look up as she stood in front of the nursery.

"(Y/N)," you heard Shadepelt hiss, and you turned your head towards her, "...what was that at training today? You know how to get out of a grip and you certainly know how to pin down a bigger cat."

You opened your mouth to explain yourself, but Shadepelt silenced you.

"Don't excuse it. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for a 10-moon-old apprentice to be beaten by an 8-moon-old one? Leopardstar thinks I'm a bad mentor thanks to you." She snarled.

You flinched, and cowered a little before the tall she-cat.  
"I'm sorry. I will do better next time." You promised.

The darkgray she-cat huffed.  
"I hope so for you. Go to your nest, no freshkill for the rest of the day."

You hung your head low, it was a bit past sunhigh, and you had skipped breakfast.  
You stomach already hurt as she said that.  
"O-okay..." You meowed in shame.

Shadepelt dismissed you with the flick of her tail, and you walked back into camp.


	6. Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumb bitch teases 3 guys

"I can't believe we have to stay behind." Hawkpaw grumbled, kneading his nest in the apprentice's den.

"You're gonna mess up the bedding!" Mothpaw complained, kicking her brother softly because his leg had pushed her as he was aggressively tearing apart his own moss.

"I don't care! I wanna go to the gathering too! I'm ten moons old, I'm just as much as an apprentice as (Y/N)!" He wailed, and sat up.

You sighed in annoyance.  
"StarClan, Leopardstar will never take you on any gatherings if she finds out this is how you react." You muttered.  
'Plus, I'm warrior-aged and you're not...' you added in your head, but ignored the thought because you knew it might hurt them.

You were twelve moons old now, but you were still considered a terrible apprentice. Shadepelt had been forbidding you certain meals for two moons now, which resulted in you not getting unhealthily skinny, but rather just slim.  
Still, you were hungry a lot and weren't as strong as you used to be.

The brown tabby whipped his head around to you, his blue eyes widened in what seemed like kit-rage.  
"You've been messing up at training all the time! And YOU get to go?!"

Hawkpaw hadn't suffered at all. He was taller, more muscular, he looked like a real warrior already and almost overtowered you.

You stuck out your pink tongue at him, to which he almost threw a fit but Mothpaw patted his head.  
Mothpaw was just a tad bit smaller than her brother, but much thinner. She looked a lot like her mother, meanwhile Hawkpaw beared resemblance to what you thought was the ideal warrior.

"We can go help out in the nursery!" Mothpaw suggested. "Mom always hangs out there."

The brown apprentice seemed even more upset.  
"Mom doesn't do anything except ignore us." He almost hissed.

His golden sister flinched a little, and she narrowed her amber eyes while looking at you, as if it was your fault Sasha ignored them.  
"She surely can't if we exactly address her." Mothpaw meowed, "...besides, we get our assessment soon! She'll want to know about it."

Oh yeah. Assessment day.  
You sighed. You had failed it once already because a group of kittypets had intervered, and thought wrestling with a cat they didn't know was the best idea to introduce themselves.  
Shadepelt had come to your aid and now one of the kittypets had a distinct, massive scar on their neck. They HAD survived, thank StarClan Leopardstar had been there to stop Shadepelt from almost killing said kittypet.

You knew that neither the kittypets or your mentor had meant bad things- the kittypets just wanted fun, and your mentor had thought they were actually fighting you.

You shuddered a little at the memory, feeling bad for the kittypet with the wounded neck.  
You sure hated Shadepelt's claws, and getting a wound as nasty as that sure wasn't on your wish list.

You felt something brush your flank, and looked to the side.

"We'll be going now." A dark gray warrior told you.  
It was Stormfur, you didn't have any major connections to him whatsoever, but you had been made an apprentice around the same time as him.  
You never interacted much, you had felt weird talking to... a half-blood.  
Now you knew a bit better to understand him and his sister Feathertail, but you still didn't quite know what to make of them.

"Ok." You mumbled, then turned your head to Hawkpaw and Mothpaw, who were rough-housing in their nest.  
"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"What? No way! You're telling us what happened right when you come back!" Hawkpaw demanded, his tail stuck up like a stick.

You snorted, in an almost taunting manner.  
"Yeah, we'll see." You purred, amused by his anger, and turned around to follow Stormfur.

You swear you could hear your friend angrily grumble your name, but just smirked and pretended to ignore him.

"What do you think of those two?" Stormfur's question rattled you a little.  
Why was everyone asking what you thought of them? Shadepelt had asked you the same not too long ago.

You had answered to her that you thought they were trying to be good apprentices, but you just couldn't get comfortable with them around.  
It hadn't been the truth, maybe a few moons ago it would have been, but even then you had respected Hawkpaw and Mothpaw more.

You noticed Mistyfoot looking at you two from not too far away.  
Your fur bristled a little, you felt like you were being... tested.

"I like them. They train hard, don't slack off, and fit in the clan." You answered, keeping your gaze ahead to seem more mature to the taller tom, as well as the deputy.

"I see... and... what about, you know, their heritage? Their mother is a former kittypet and all that."

You glanced over to Stormfur and Mistyfoot, Stormfur was looking away, it seemed like he was almost embarrassed to ask you this, whilst Mistyfoot had her eyes narrowed in an unreadable expression.

You shook your head slightly, and looked back up at the warrior next to you.  
"I don't care anymore. They've proven their kittypet blood doesn't make them weak." You flicked your ear a bit, "...I think they're quite strong, actually."

The dark gray warrior let out a 'hm.'  
He turned his orange gaze to you, which you could now see clearly due to looking up at him as well.  
"What do you think of half-clanners, (Y/N)?"

He was smiling, almost knowing this question would make you somewhat uncomfortable.  
And it certainly did make you feel uncomfortable, whatever you said could determine how Stormfur would view you, and how the entire clan could view you if Mistyfoot found your view completely horrifying.

"The... the cats can't control who their parents are." You stuttered at first but quickly found ground again.

You trembled a little, anticipating Stormfur's reaction, but he just raised an eyebrow, suggesting he expected you to say more.

You looked down as you answered, you found it easier to look at your paws as you walked to think.  
"I guess loyalty is kinda hard for th-them... if they know which clans they are from- which clans blood they have!" You corrected yourself.  
You realized your sentence sounded a bit... accusing, and you looked back up.  
Stormfur seemed mildly surprised, the she-cat not too far away looked offended.

"I-I'm not saying you're not loyal! You're a great warrior! One of the best in RiverClan!" You laughed to hopefully tune down what you had just said.

The dark gray tom snorted.  
"Oh, (Y/N), you shouldn't worry so much. I know what you mean." He purred, having noticed your discomfort.

You huffed a bit in reply, still anxious as you saw Mistyfoot scoff and jump ahead of the crowd- where Leopardstar was.

You gulped, what would she tell her? Surely they'd delay your ceremony- what if they told Mothpaw and Hawkpaw? They'd never look at you again.

"Hey, (Y/N)? I told you it's fine." Stormfur repeated, and you looked up at him, only now having realized you had stopped walking.

"Oh." You meowed to yourself.  
You could already see the Fourtrees from where you were, you could see ShadowClan and WindClan had already arrived.

You shook your head, and looked at Stormfur.  
What were you so scared? There was nothing to be scared of.  
Don't be scared, be strong, this was so weak, pathetic.  
This fully-grown warrior was comforting you like a wailing kitten, not like the warrior-aged she-cat you were.

"I'm sorry." You replied, managing to keep a steady voice. "What I said was wrong, I deeply apologize, it was disrespectful of me."

Stormfur twitched a little, a bit shocked by your apology which sounded almost rehearsed.

It was rehearsed.  
It was the apology you had given Shadepelt so often it was branded inside your mind, you said it so often whenever you so much as suggested something that Shadepelt turned down.

"I-it's okay, (Y/N), you're not gonna get punished for having an opinion." He laughed a bit.

You looked down at the ground.  
"I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me in the future."

You flattened your ears to your head in shame, and disappeared in the crowd.

Stormfur tried to go after you and you heard him call your name, but you couldn't- you couldn't stand to disappoint him further.

"Blackstar, Tallstar." Leopardstar dipped her head to the two leaders already seated on the high rock for all leaders, they nodded and she jumped up as well.

Before the stone sat the deputies, Mistyfoot, Russetfur and Mudclaw.

You admired each of them from a distance.  
Mistyfoot was by far the most mysterious she-cat you had ever met, but you knew she was intelligent and just wanted justice- even if it sometimes came across too hard sometimes.

Russetfur you didn't know too much about, but from the gatherings you had been to so far she always seemed happy to be there, and you could see passion in her face when Blackstar announced good news.

Mudclaw was Tallstar's deputy, he was kind of new to it. You weren't sure what to think of the gray-brown tom, he looked big and strong, like a great warrior.  
You expected him to fit right into the position of deputy.

"Is Firestar not coming?" You heard Blackstar almost taunting, judging by his voice.

Leopardstar extended one of her bright golden paws to point at something in the distance, and you saw numerous ThunderClanners emerge from the forest.  
Leading them was Firestar, who dipped his head to his deputy Graystripe.  
Now Graystripe, you could tell he absolutely loved being the deputy.  
He smiled whenever he spoke, he had passion in his eyes, he looked big and strong, and surely wasn't dumb from how he acted.

Firestar jumped next to the other leaders.  
"Good moonrise." He purred his words.

"Fashionably late as usual, are we?" Leopardstar grumbled and rolled her amber eyes.

"Oh, you flatter me! As if you'd start without me!" The ginger tabby laughed.

The ThunderClan cats settled next to the other cats, and you struggled to find a familiar face you knew you could talk to.

The voices of the leaders were drowned out, so no more eavesdropping.

"Uh- uh-"  
What the hell? You had been on gatherings before, what was wrong with you? Why are you as panicked as a deer in front of a monster?!

"Lost your clan mates?" 

You flinched harshly, scared out of your fur and almost wanted to claw, but were happy you hadn't clawed at Bramblepaw in hindsight.

You had fought alongside him in the BloodClan battle moons ago, and he had been the one to bring your sister's body out of the battlefield.

"Oh- ah..." You stammered, still a bit shaken. Your fur unwillingly bristled again.

"You don't have to be so startled, I know I'm breathtaking, but jeez." Bramblepaw snorted.

You scoffed at that.  
"As if!" You meowed amused, and lightly tapped his head. "You're still a mouse-brain, Bramblepaw, you didn't change, did you?"

"Well... some things changed." He gestured down at his body.

You decided to play along and checked him out like you sometimes saw toms do with she-cats.

"Ah, yes. Look at those LEGS." You grabbed one of his darkbrown legs, and spread apart his bright paw toes. "Look at... uh. This color I guess."

"Look at these CLAWS!" Bramblepaw replied, and unsheathed his claws.

You feeped in surprise, StarClan those things were huge. He must get it from-

"I'm no Bramblepaw, (Y/N), you're looking at the fur of a full-grown warrior of ThunderClan!" He boosted, puffing out his chest to emphasize his words. 

You rolled your eyes and dropped his paw with unsheathed claws.  
"Oh, so what's your name now? Brambleclaw?" You smirked jokingly.

Bramblewhateverhissuffixwas looked a bit baffled.  
"Yeah, it is!"

You stared back.  
"You can't be serious? That's the most uninventive name I've heard. Why not name you Massiveclaw?" 

Bramble... claw shrugged.  
"Wish I would have thought of that one." He chuckled, then mustered you as well.  
"You lost a lot of weight." He noted, putting one of his paws to your flank.  
The brown tabby shuddered as he pet your fur, and quickly retracted his huge paw again.

"What is it?" You meowed, raising an eyebrow.

"You're all skin and bones, what have you been eating?" Brambleclaw sounded almost horrified.

"Prey." You snorted, "...all RiverClan cats are slim, you ThunderClanners are just used to being big and buff."

Brambleclaw didn't seem entirely convinced but you shrugged it off.

You got back to pretending to check him out. You tried to remember what the she-cats in your clan said about toms they moon over, and you tried to apply that here.

"Look at those rippling muscles- how they dance under his fur, StarClan, I bet he can lift me with one paw!" You squealed in a fake swoon.

You mustered him further, finding that wasn't even so far from the truth.  
Brambleclaw was indeed muscular, for someone his build that was pretty normal though.

"That gorgeous fur, look how it shines in the moonlight." You weren't gonna deny, Brambleclaw had very pretty fur. You put one of your paws to his thick pelt, feeling it.  
"How smooth it is!"

You glanced at Brambleclaw, and flinched as you saw his reaction.  
The ThunderClanner's face was completely blushed in deep red, and you could see his gaze was directed at the paw on his shoulder in an almost hushed expression.

You pulled back your paw quickly and his amber eyes met yours.

"Ah- no, sorry- I wasn't-!" The brown tabby tried really hard to hide the fact he was embarrassed beyond anything.

You laughed, and booped his darkbrown nose.  
"Oh, man! You just wait till the clans get a load of this, are you crushing on a RiverClanner? An apprentice nonetheless?"

"You're warrior-age!" Brambleclaw protested, flattening his ears while he tried to stop furiously blushing.

"It's still against like, three codes." You snorted, and sat down.

The big tabby tom mumbled something, and sat down next to you as well.  
You felt something touch your flank, and glanced down to see he had his tail curled around you in a way where it didn't touch you at all- except for that part on your hind leg.

You shrugged it off, who cares? You'd let him do it, and it's not like curling your tail around someone was against the code.

"Cats of the forest!"  
You looked up, seeing Tallstar step forward.  
The WindClan leader was thin, but his legs let everyone know he was a cat that went places daily.

The voices of cats around you grew quiet, and the leader twitched his whiskers as he waited for the voices to quiet down.

"The gathering shall begin. WindClan will speak first." He meowed, and shifted a bit to sit up straighter.

Your ears perked up in interest, amd you raised your head a little to listen better.

"WindClan has been doing fine, and are happy to announce a new apprentice in our clan- Crowpaw!"

You looked to where the black-white tom's head was pointed, and saw a slim tom with fur so dark it was barely dark gray.

He had his head raised high in pride, and a few cats from other clans congratulated him.

"I have some unpleasant news too. More and more twolegs have been by our borders, some even overstepping. We must be careful, they could be planning something." Tallstar said with a serious voice.

"They have been at our borders as well." Blackstar agreed, nodding his head to the WindClan leader.

"ThunderClan hasn't noticed anything." Firestar added.

"RiverClan hasn't either. Let's hope they aren't building a thunderpath." Your leader muttered, scratching the highrock in concentration.

"There's already one. Why would their monsters need another?" Blackstar grumbled.

Firestar shrugged. "Twolegs and their monsters are a mystery. Let's pray they move on soon."

The leaders all mumbled in agreement, and you heard cats talk to each other behind you.

"Do they scare away the prey?" 

You looked to Brambleclaw, who you now noticed was talking to his sister Tawnypelt that had sat down next to you two.

The tortoiseshell she-cat flicked her ear.  
"They scare it away from the area, but we're managing." She meowed to her ThunderClan brother.

Brambleclaw made a content noise.

You were just concerned. What if those twolegs came to your territory? StarClan, please no. The clans can't even fight twolegs.

"Aside from those news, WindClan is fine. Blackstar, your word?" Tallstar silenced the cats and looked over to the massive white tom.

The ShadowClan leader dipped his head.  
"Despite these instances, we've been fine. Prey is running, and we're bearing kits."

He stepped back, apparently that was all he wanted to say.

You looked over to Tawnypelt, she had a relaxed expression on her face, it seemed like Blackstar was telling the truth.

Blackstar flicked his black tail to Leopardstar, and your leader stepped forward.

"RiverClan is doing fine. Prey is running well, but we have had a run-in with a few rogues. They must have fled to WindClan borders now, I suggest strengthening patrols." She meowed.

Rogues?  
Oh, she meant the kittypets. They wouldn't stray. But eh, better safe than sorry.

Lastly, Firestar stepped forward.  
"ThunderClan has welcomed three new warriors, Ashfur, Ferncloud and Brambleclaw!"

The crowd meowed happily for a few moments, before Firestar silenced them with a raise of his paw.

"But we've had run-ins with rogues and kittypets. Our warriors are very much able to fend them off, but like Leopardstar said, we should bulk our patrols."

The cats started mumbling a bit.

"Will that be all?" Tallstar looked around the round.

Firestar nodded, the other two leaders dipped their heads in agreement.

"Alright. The gathering is over! May StarClan watch over the forest!"

In union the crowd chanted, you joined in.  
"May StarClan watch over the forest!"

Tallstar nodded to the three other leaders, and jumped from the high rock.  
"WindClan! We're leaving."

The slim WindClanners bounded off alongside their black-white leader.

Blackstar not too long after did the same.  
"ShadowClan, we're going back!"

"Well, bye you two." Tawnypelt meowed to you and Brambleclaw.

"Bye!" The brown tabby waved his tail, and you watched her leave.

"You've been encountering kittypets too?" Leopardstar asked Firestar.

The ginger tom perked up his ears.  
"Yeah! But didn't you say rogues?" 

"They certainly fought like rogues. Those aren't ordinary kittypets." She spat.

Firestar, a bit shaken by her words, nevertheless nodded.  
"We gotta keep an eye out for them. Good luck to you, Leopardstar."

The golden she-cat muttered something in agreement, and both of them jumped off.

"RiverClan! We're leaving!" Leopardstar called out to your clan.

Firestar motioned for his clan to follow him as well.

"Welp, see you next gathering." You meowed to Brambleclaw.

The ThunderClanner twitched his whiskers, then nudged you a bit.  
"You better have put on some weight until then! Fighting you's no fun if you're obviously weaker than me."

"As if!" You cuffed his ears softly. "Bye bye." 

Brambleclaw faked to whine.  
"Seriously though, if you're skipping meals I'll personally come stuff prey down your face."

You snorted, and Brambleclaw stuck out his tongue in a taunting manner.

"Ciao!" He meowed, then bound off after his clan.

You laughed a bit, that tom was the goofiest guy you had ever met.  
You liked it though, so who were you to complain?

You looked to the edges of the Fourtrees, and saw Stormfur still waiting as all of RiverClan was slowly leaving.

Was he waiting for you? You really didn't want to talk to him again.

His orange eyes met yours, and you knew he was waiting just for you.

"Mousedung..." You mumbled to yourself, then slowly trotted over to the darkgray warrior.

At first you held eye contact, but as yiu reached him close enough to speak with a normal volume, you sank your head.

"(Y/N), I told you it's okay. I'm glad you don't think of me as some sort of mistake." Stormfur meowed, his voice sounded genuine.

You raised your chin a little, he was smiling at you.

"I should have worded it better. I'm sorry it came out like that." 

The older tom sighed heavily.  
"Okay, but you don't have to dwell on it. I'm not lying about what I say, it really isn't a big deal."

You pried your gaze away from Stormfur and glanced over to the front of the crowd that was your gathered clan, trying to see the deputy.

"It seemed like that to Mistyfoot." You replied, flattening your ear tips a little.

Stormfur raised an eyebrow, both of you had started walking.  
"Did she ask you the same?"

"She was listening." You explained. "When you asked me."

The tom flattened his ears.  
"She listened in on us?" He sounded a bit upset. "Why would she do that?"

"I am a bit biased, it's no secret..." You scratched your chin.

"Still, I was the one asking you. She shouldn't listen in on conversations." You were a bit surprised to hear Stormfur groan those words.

"Well, she is deputy, so she has the right to?" - "No. It was a private conversation. She should have make it clear she was hearing it."

You flinched softly.  
"Oh- okay." 

Stormfur shook his head, and his serious expression changed to his usual smile.  
"Sorry, whew, got a bit serious there! But you get my point, no? If she tells Leopardstar anything weird I'll be sure to debunk that." He chuckled a little.

You forced yourself to smile, and gave back a small laugh to avoid awkwardness.

"Oh, we're already here!" Stormfur noted, and pointed down the hill the crowd of cats was walking over.  
"Time really flies when you're talking."

You slightly smiled.  
"I'll go to sleep then. I'm really tired."  
It was a lie, but you didn't want to say anything wrong again.

"Okay, I'll see you. Maybe Shadepelt will allow me to assist in battle training." Stormfur snorted.

"Haha..." You weakly laughed, and bound over the hill.  
"Good night."

Stormfur said the same back, and you lost him as you jumped back into camp.

"(Y/N)!" 

You recognized Hawkpaw's voice instantly, and you perked up your ears attentively.

The brown tabby bounded over to you with a rather neutral expression on his face.  
Something was wrong, he'd smile normally, he only looked like this when something was up.

"What happened?" You asked, getting into a stance that was almost battle-ready.

"Oh?" Hawkpaw tilted his head, a bit confused. "Oh! No, nothing happened. I'm just tired is all."

You relaxed a bit, but your shoulders stayed tense.  
"Well, we should get some sleep then. It was a long day for me and I'll be sore if I don't sleep now."

"What? No! You promised you'd tell us what happened!" He squealed upset.

"And is Mothpaw awake?" You asked, a slight smirk on your face.

Hawkpaw flattened his torn ear. "No..."

"Then I suppose we'll have to wait until tomorrow." You started to walk towards the apprentice's den. "Good night, Hawkpaw."  
In an almost taunting manner you swayed your tail instead of flicking it to motion him to follow you.

"Hey!" Your friend sprung to your side, and nudged you as you walked into the den.

Mothpaw was already curled up, breathing softly in her sleep.  
You looked at her for a few moments, and got an urge you couldn't quite understand.  
She's definitely cute in her sleep.

Hawkpaw nudged you towards your nest further in the back.

"I know where my own bed is, dummy!" You whispered with a laugh.

"Well, lay down then!" His voice sounded impatient.

You snorted amused, and laid down on your bedding. You stretched a bit, and curled up as well.

You twitched a bit as you felt Hawkpaw's pelt brush your paws, his nest had always been close but not to the point where you could touch him without stretching.

You blinked open one of your eyes, and to your surprise you could look outside. Your nest was normally so far in the back you couldn't do that.

"Did you move my nest?" You asked Hawkpaw quietly.

The tom flattened his ears, and he avoided your eyes.

"I messed up your moss. Mothpaw said I should make up for it by making a new nest."

You were a bit surprised to hear him admit it immediately, but snickered a little.

"You made me a nest?" You meowed.

Hawkpaw whipped his head around.  
"I know I'm not good at it- I'll help you gather moss for a new one if you want."

"No, no." You waved your paw. "This one's nice. Thank you."

You gave him a grateful lick over his head, and went back to curling up.

You wouldn't know, but Hawkpaw spent the night freaking out over the fact you had basically just kissed him.


	7. Pushing it away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting a bit rowdy at assessment day.

"Alright, Hawkpaw, you're hunting at the moss oak. Mothpaw, you're going to the sunning rocks border."  
Shadepelt turned her head to you.  
"(Y/N), you'll be catching prey at the twoleg nest."

You shuddered internally, the last time you were there Shadepelt had almost killed a kittypet.  
That was two moons ago, and now you were redoing your assessment.  
What if that kittypet would recognize you?

"I wish you all the best. We'll be watching." Blackclaw meowed, and he and Shadepelt disappeared in the bushes.

You looked over to Mothpaw and Hawkpaw.  
The brown tabby seemed confident with a serious look on his face, and you nodded to him.  
He dipped his head to you as well in a 'good luck' manner, and he bound off to the moss oak- it was a good hunting spot.

You glanced at the golden tabby she-cat, she looked a bit nervous.  
You made a small noise to encourage her, and she nodded before leaping off as well.  
You pitied her a bit, the sunning rocks border was usually scarse and if things went horribly wrong, she could anger a ThunderClan patrol.

You were quite okay with your spot, prey should be quite easy to catch there, and you jumped off.

You couldn't smell any other cats on your way there, but figured that Shadepelt was close nearby, especially after what happened last time.

A little mouse was gnawing on something that you thought was a seed as you spotted it sitting under a broken fence post, and you got into a hunting crouch.

You were almost close enough, before a loud shatter noise scared the prey and it wanted to dash off, but you caught it quickly.

You raised your head with the mouse in your muzzle, and looked around in confusion as you tried to figure out where the noise had come from.

You jumped up on the fence, and saw that glass had shattered in the twoleg's nest.  
A few hisses and growling could be heard from within, and the door to the nest opened.

A twoleg kicked a cat outside, the kittypet yowled loudly in pain, and the twoleg slammed the door shut while yelling something.

"Fine! Don't let me in! I like it outside better anyway!" The kittypet snarled.

You flattened your ears, this was none of your business, and you turned around to leave.

"Hey!" The tom behind you yelled. "You stop right there! I saw you take my prey!"

You whipped your head around to answer, but remembered you shouldn't talk.  
You lashed your tail to tell him off, and looked down to jump down the fence.

"Oh no you don't!"

You were about to leap off, but a force tackled you from the side and pushed you down on the ground.

"You've humiliated me once, I won't let you do that again!" 

You struggled a bit under your attacker, and managed to get on your back.

It was the black-white kittypet, their green spiked collar covered up a freshly healed scar.  
A neck wound.

You hissed in reply, and dragged your claws over his face, drawing blood immediately.

The tom snarled at the pain, and bit you hard just above your throat.

"Get off of me!" You yowled, and unsheathed your back claws, then kicked the cat hard in his stomach.

The kittypet made a loud screech from the pain, and jumped off of you.

"You damn forest savages, invading my territory now! You tried to kill me and now this!" He spat.

You flattened your ears, the wound on your neck started to burn with pain.

"Go back to your stupid twoleg," you hissed, "...or I'll make you bleed out on your own territory."

The black-white tom snarled in reply and attempted to intimidate you with a fake swipe, but you didn't budge.

You huffed, and picked up the mouse again.  
"You can be lucky I'm in a hurry. Else you'd be dead already." You hissed.

The kittypet growled a bit, but decided not to anger you any longer.  
He was taller than you, and looked stronger as well, but you were much smarter.

"Don't show up on MY territory again." The tom hissed, putting strong emphasis on the word 'my.'

You snorted to brush him off, and walked away, you could tell he was still sitting on that fence, angrily stalking you with those amber eyes.

 

You managed to catch two birds, and another fish in a pond you had found.

You decided to take all the prey back with you, and on the way back you saw Hawkpaw.

Of course you couldn't talk, but you watched him for a while anyway.

The muscular tabby was chasing after a rabbit, and it seemed like the prey was coming your way.

You probably shouldn't help, but it was prey for StarClan's sake.

Hawkpaw apparently hadn't seen you, so he halted sharply as the rabbit ran into your paws and you killed it.

"(Y/N)-" you put your paw over your muzzle to tell him to be quiet.

"Oh." He nodded.

You pushed the rabbit towards him, and Hawkpaw picked it up before going over to the moss oak and picking up some more prey.

Your friend came over to you, and dipped his head before walking back to the meeting place you had discussed at just this morning.

 

Your mentor and Blackclaw were already sitting there, but Mothpaw was missing.

You gave a puzzled gaze as you put down your four catches.

"You can talk again." Blackclaw meowed. "Mothpaw isn't quite finished yet."

The black tom sniffed the air a little.  
"Is one of you bleeding? I smell blood- cat blood."

"I got attacked." You replied, and raised your head a bit to show the neck wound.

"StarClan!" Shadepelt yowled, "...can I let you go somewhere for once without you almost dying?" 

Blackclaw rolled his blue eyes.  
"Oh please. As if she wanted to get attacked. Come here, (Y/N)."

You flattened your ears a little at Shadepelt's criticism, and stepped closer to Blackclaw, who raised your chin a little with his paw.  
"Did the attacker bite you?" He asked, looking at the wound critically.

"Yeah. That's all I got though." You meowed.

Hawkpaw's mentor let go of your head.  
"Mh-hm. It looks kind of nasty, to be honest. We should let Mudfur look at it when we get back."

You murmured in agreement, and sat back down next to Hawkpaw, who you noticed was staring at you.

"What attacked you?" He asked rather quickly.

"A kittypet. Can't believe they thought they'd actually win." You snorted amused.

"Where was that?" Hawkpaw continued to ask.

"At the twoleg nest. The one with the broken fence."

"Hm." The apprentice turned his blue gaze away from you, and seemed to be thinking.

"Don't go hatching a revenge plan, dude. It's a kittypet." You replied, a bit suspiscious he might actually do that.

"No, no. No revenge. Just keeping it in mind so you don't go hunting there alone anymore when I know." He meowed, looking back at you.

You raised an eyebrow, a bit amused.  
"What, is big Hawkpaw gonna come and save me from an evil kittypet?"

"(Y/N), hate to say it but that evil kittypet almost killed you just now." He grumbled.

"You're serious?" You raised an eyebrow. "I won't get killed by a kittypet."

"I'm as serious as I can get. You're not going hunting there alone, not if I'm around." He huffed.

You snorted in reply, but didn't take it too serious. It was kinda cute, him suddenly being so angered by a kittypet.

"Where is that she-cat?" You heard Shadepelt mutter impatiently.

"I dunno. Maybe we should go check on her." Blackclaw meowed.  
He turned his head to you both.  
"Hawkpaw, (Y/N), go check on Mothpaw by the sunning rocks. But if there's trouble, I want you to come right back, (Y/N) is injured as it is."

You nodded, but Hawkpaw seemed a bit pissed.  
"(Y/N) should stay here, what if she gets hurt anyway?" He groaned.

"(Y/N), what do you think?" Shadepelt turned her green gaze to you.

You flattened your ears a bit.  
"I can certainly walk and run." You meowed.

"Then go." Your mentor spat.

You flinched a bit surprised, and started to sprint off.  
You could hear Hawkpaw follow, but figured he'd do it either way.

 

You hadn't expected Mothpaw to be attacked.  
But that's what was happening.

You didn't care about what Blackclaw had said, there were two fully-grown warriors almost strangling Mothpaw.

"Get off of her!" You yowled, and leapt onto the golden tabby tom instantly.

He hissed as you latched onto him, and he began to spring around in an attempt to get you off of him.

"You ThunderClanners attack an apprentice on HER territory?!"  
You clawed at the tabby's eyes, and the ThunderClan warrior managed to shake you off.

You landed on your paws, and growled as you got into a battle stance.  
"Shame on you," you hissed, "...StarClan shouldn't have any mercy on you."

The golden tom growled in reply, but his companion quickly nudged his shoulder.  
You saw the other warrior was missing almost a good chunk of his shoulder, and you looked over at Hawkpaw, who deeply growled as he stood there with bits of cat flesh dangling from his muzzle.

"Leave!" He howled in a to you unfamiliar, threatening deep voice.  
"Go tell your leader what his loyal warriors have done."

The two tabbies hissed a little at him, before they leapt off.

You looked around for Mothpaw, and saw her all scrunched up against the ledge of a rock.  
She turned to you with flattened ears, and shook her head.  
The fear of scent was overwhelming as you stepped closer.

"I'm sorry- I got so scared, I should havd helped you." She stammered, she was almost crying.  
"It's alright. Are you hurt?"   
Hawkpaw was suddenly next to you, and he inspected his sister closely.  
She shook her head.  
"They just pushed me around."

The golden she-cat looked at you, and pointed at your neck with her tail.  
"But you got hurt..."  
You wiped a bit over the wound, some blood stuck to your paw.  
"I fought a kittypet before. That didn't come from this fight."

She slowly stood up, and sniffed your wound from a few paw lengths away.  
Mothpaw turned back to the ledge, and you saw her swirl her paw in what seemingly was the air.

"Raise your head a bit." She softly meowed, and you did as she told.  
You felt something weird at the wound, and a burning sensation as you felt Mothpaw press down.

"Ow!" You feeped.

Mothpaw took her paw off. "Sorry, that's to stop the bleeding." She apologized.  
You now saw she was holding bits of cobweb.

"We need to go back. Now." Hawkpaw grumbled impatiently.  
You turned your head to him, oh, he was still pissed alright.

You nodded in agreement, and Mothpaw dragged out something from the ledge she had been under.

Your eyes widened in surprise.

"What is this?" Hawkpaw blinked a bit at the bird-like creature.  
He looked up at his sister, and his next gaze was shaking a little.

"It's a heron." You meowed, and helped the big prey onto Mothpaw's back.  
"They eat snakes, fish and small birds."

"Oh StarClan, what?" The brown tabby seemed pretty impressed.  
"Still, uh, we should get going."

You nodded in agreement, but flinched as pain struck you when you moved your head.  
Was that because the bleeding had been stopped?

You decided to push it off for now, and walked back to your mentors with Hawkpaw and Mothpaw.

 

"Oh StarClan! You fought a patrol? On your OWN?!"   
Leopardstar sounded shocked for now, but you could tell she'd get angry after it had worn off.  
"StarClan... (Y/N), what IS your neck? I knew Hawkpaw was wounded, but what kind of state are you in?"

You shifted a bit ashamed in place, and put a paw on your throat, feeling the fresh wound throb.

"Get to Mudfur. And you two," she turned to Shadepelt and Blackclaw, "...we're gonna have a talk in my den. Right now."

You gulped, which also hurt, as you heard the anger in your leader's voice as she addressed the two warriors.  
What had they done? You were the ones that had disobeyed...

You felt Mothpaw nudge you softly.  
"We should go to Mudfur like she said..."

You flattened one of your ears.  
"Yeah..."

You followed the golden tabby into the medicine cat's den, and your eyes found Hawkpaw already patched up and seemingly sleeping soundly in one of the nests.

"Oh, you two are also wounded?"   
You turned your head as you saw a silhouette move in the shadows of the den, and your eyes adjusted to the dark and you could make out Mudfur's fur.

You walked a bit closer into the den so he wouldn't have to inspect you in the entrance.

"I'm not, (Y/N) is..." Mothpaw answered for you a bit shyily.

"Ah, yeah, I see it. (Y/N), would you raise your head for me?" The brown tom asked.  
You did as told, but your throat felt strained as you held your chin up.

"Who put these cobwebs on?" Mudfur murmured.

"Uh, I did..." Mothpaw admitted, and from the corner of your eye you could see she was kneading the ground anxiously.

"Really? That was good thinking. The wound is deep, if you wouldn't have done it (Y/N) might have passed out from blood loss." He explained.

You shuddered a little.  
The wound didn't feel that bad, surely he was exaggerating?

Mudfur tapped a nest a bit away from your sleeping den mate.  
"Lay down. I'll get some herbs."

You nodded (which still hurt) and sat down on the soft moss.  
Mudfur's nests always were way more comfortable than any other in camp, how he did it, you'd never know.

"...you could have died." Mothpaw suddenly muttered.

You turned your gaze towards her.  
"What?"

"You could have died back there. With already being injured, and... fighting against a full warrior..." She flattened her ears. "Why'd you... do that? Blackclaw told you not to attack on your own..."

You flicked your ear and turned your head to Hawkpaw.  
"We're full-grown too, and... well, we have all the training. I didn't see why I should just let them tear you apart while I could have done something."

Mothpaw twitched her whiskers, it was hard to see in the dim light that came into the den.

"(Y/N), I know you don't like to talk about it, but..." Mothpaw hesitated to finish her sentence.

You blinked. "What?"

"How did your sister die?"

You blinked, again, in surprise this time.  
"She died in the BloodClan battle-"

"No, I mean... how did she die? What... wounds?" 

You could see the look of conflict on Mothpaw's face, apparently she didn't feel comfortable asking.  
You weren't comfortable with answering, either, but you would.

"...she was swarmed by three BloodClanners. I tried to fend them off of her, but... well, a miniature cat against three brutes, how would that go?"   
You laughed, but the memory pained you.

You, trying desperately to try and pry off any of the three cats from your small sister as they all strangled her, but one of the cats just swiped at you and you laid there in shock, watching your sister suffocate.

You shook your head, trying to shake off the memory.  
You started to realize some... parallels.  
In a way, you did feel like Mothpaw was family.  
Not like a sister, you didn't love her that much, but you would definitely be upset if she were to die.

"...I'm sorry that that happened, to your sister, and that you had to see that." Mothpaw muttered.

You blinked a little.  
"It's okay. I guess I am pushing away such memories."  
You gave a weak smile.

Mothpaw huffed a bit and grinned back.  
"Guess it played out nicer this time." 

You snorted. "It did."


	8. Cold paws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkpaw, Feathertail and you talk in the medicine cat's den.

What you quickly realized was that most of the time, Hawkpaw was not sleeping.

He was drowsily watching the den with half-lidded eyes, but you never minded it much.

Your neck wound had been healing quite fine, but Mudfur had ordered you to stay to recover for at least seven sunrises.  
Seven!  
He may as well could have just made it an entire moon.

Mothpaw was constantly spending time in the medicine cat's den, which she said Sasha didn't like.  
You didn't know if that was true.

Sasha had not visited once.

Okay, it had only been one sunrise so far, but still. Sasha never did anything, and now she didn't even visit her injured son.  
Didn't he mean anything to her?

You sat next to Hawkpaw, who was silently grooming your fur. He didn't talk as much as he used to, and you wondered if he was mad at you, or if he was shifting in personality.

"(Y/N), there you are!"  
You looked over to the entrance of the den, the sun beams were blocked by the dark outline of a familiar cat.

"Hi, Feathertail." You greeted the silver she-cat.

She was quite beautiful, even in this light her fur almost shined and she stepped closer.

"Stormfur was worrying about you." The warrior meowed, and sat down.

"He knows I'm in here, right?" You asked, raising an eyebrow in doubt.

"Oh, not yet. He's currently on a two-day patrol. He's coming back soon though!" She replied, swaying her fluffy tail happily.

You blinked a little. It was kinda sad, a warrior you didn't talk to much was more worried about you than... your own mentor.  
Shadepelt hadn't visited once either.

"Oh. Well, StarClan shall light his path." You muttered.

You turned your head to Hawkpaw, who had stopped grooming you.

He just... blinked.

"You two wil be warriors soon, right?" Feathertail smiled.

"I certainly hope so." You laughed. "I'm way overdue."

The brown tabby next to you flicked his ear.  
"How old were you when you became a warrior, Feathertail?"

The silver tabby perked up her eyebrows in interest.  
"Oh, there were some complications, so I was fourteen!"

Hawkpaw turned his head to you.  
"Hey, that's how old you are." He smirked.

You snorted.  
"Yeah, yeah." You grumbled. You didn't like to be reminded.

"Are you guys hungry?" Feathertail asked.  
You hadn't noticed but now you saw her whip out two fish.

"Not that much." You answered, then turned your head to Hawkpaw. "You?"

He blinked a bit. His blue eyes were looking more and more icy every day.  
"We could share one."

You nodded, and were about to say that to the silver she-cat but were reminded she had ears as she placed down a salmon in front of you.

You nodded your head gratefully, and nudged the prey closer to Hawkpaw, who motioned for you to take the first bite.

While eating, you noticed Feathertail was staring at the corner of the den, where usually Mudfur slept.  
There was an extra nest to his now.

"Is Mothpaw finally Mudfur's apprentice?"  
She turned back to you, smiling as she asked.

You groaned.  
"No."

You heard Hawkpaw grunt next to you as he chewed on the fish meat.

"What? Then whose nest is that?" Feathertail tilted her head confused.

"Mothpaw's." You lifted your tail to stop Feathertail from asking you why she had a nest here. "She's... unofficially his apprentice."

Feathertail's dark ears flattened a little.  
"What does Leopardstar say about this?"

Hawkpaw shrugged, and he swallowed before answering.  
"I think mom biases her. Sasha doesn't like the idea of Mothpaw being a medicine cat."

The silver she-cat looked away a little.  
"But... it's great if she would be a medicine cat apprentice."

You lifted your head a bit, and raised an eyebrow.

"Mudfur isn't..." She swayed her head to the side, "...that... young."

You laid your head on your paws, not hungry anymore.  
"Yeah."

Hawkpaw devoured the last bit of the prey.  
"I wish I could go up to Leopardstar and tell her how bad of a mother Sasha is." He slightly hissed.

"Pardon?" Feathertail's blue eyes widened a little.

The brown tabby flicked his torn ear and turned his icy gaze to the smaller she-cat.  
"Well, she doesn't support our decisions, now does she?" He stretched, and you watched him sit up.

Feathertail sighed.  
"My mom isn't alive, but I'm sure she'd be supportive of me choosing that path..."

You came to a realization that Hawkpaw was the only one with a living mom in this den.

"I don't even know my mom's name." You snorted. "So she can't tell me anything."


	9. Falling for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You observe clan life.

You sat in front of the medicine cat's den, just sort of staring outside.  
It had been two sunrises now.  
Your wound was healing nicely, due to Mothpaw checking up on you every so often during the day.  
She was much more gentle in her treatment, her small paws felt soft and warm against your throat when she reapplied bandages.

Mistyfoot had definitely noticed her apprentice from missing training- but she didn't scold her or put her back on it. You assumed she wanted Mothpaw to be the medicine cat's apprentice as well.

The last few days you had heard other cats criticizing the fact Mothpaw was hanging out in the den so much.

"A rogue training as a medicine cat... I bet she'd give us some filthy rogue disease if she touches us."

Your ears flattened at those words, you couldn't tell who was saying them but they made you mad, no matter who said them.  
Mothpaw was nice, kind, gentle, and if she had some ruddy rogue disease you'd surely have caught it by now.  
Hawkpaw's brown pelt suddenly brushed against yours.  
You bristled your fur, and snapped your head over to him. You already recognized his scent, but instincts still made you a bit surprised.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his low voice was barely audible, "...didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me!" You replied almost immediately.

The tabby flicked his torn ear and snorted amused. "Yeah. Of course."

You pouted a bit. How dare!  
Your gaze let off of him, and it trailed back around camp. Your mentor Shadepelt was talking to Sasha, who you had observed to be laying in one spot the entire day so far.  
It made you mad, she didn't have anything to do yet she didn't visit her injured son.

"You're thinking about training?" Hawkpaw asked.  
You looked back at him to find him staring at you.

You nodded a little, "...yeah. I wonder how much longer I have to train to get my warrior name."  
You looked down, your eyebrows a bit furrowed. "With how it feels I'll never be a warrior."

"Don't say that." Hawkpaw replied, sitting down next to you.

You lifted your head again, finding him with your eyes.  
He kept looking at you with a neutral gaze that you couldn't decipher.

"Err," growing awkward, you avoided his blue eyes, "...well, either way I hope soon."  
He murmured in agreement, not taking his stare off of you.  
Your pelt was growing warm under his ice-blue gaze.

"Hey, (Y/N)!"  
A familiar voice called behind you.  
You turned your head around, seeing Mudfur had gotten up from his slumber.

"Morning, sleepy." You greeted him.

The medicine cat snorted, and stepped closer, his shaggy, brown fur shook with every step.  
"How's that wound?" He asked.

You touched the cobwebs on your neck, they were slightly itching with the warmth.  
It had been getting colder, leaffall was approaching. Prey was still easy to get, but soon enough they'd all be sleeping in their burrows.

"It's healing ok, I think." You meowed.  
Mudfur nodded, and motioned for you to raise your head a bit.

You did as well, and felt soft breath against the skin, he was probably sniffing it a bit.

"When was the bandage last changed?" He inquired.

"This morning." Hawkpaw replied for you. "Mothpaw did it. She put some polituce on as well."

"Ah, yes..." Mudfur nodded, and took his head away from your wound. "And how's the big warrior himself?"

"Err," Hawkpaw flattened his ears embarrassed. "I'm fine, I think. My scratches are, uh, almost healed."

"I decide that." The medicine cat stuck his tongue out playfully, and quickly pulled him closer to properly judge his wounds.

Your gaze wandered back around camp, you saw Mistyfoot was talking to Leopardstar now. They seemed to be arguing.

You wondered about what, before Mistyfoot sort of hissed at the leader and stalked off and out of camp.  
Your ears flattened, nobody hissed at Leopardstar. The two never argued either, something serious must have happened. You always thought of them as friends.

You blinked a bit confused, before another gray pelt entered camp- Stormfur. He had returned from that long patrol Feathertail had told you about, and speaking of her, she was already jumping over to her brother to greet him.  
The two exchanged a rather weird, short conversation it seemed, as the silver she-cat lead him over to the warrior den. Exchanging what had happened on the patrol, you figured.

Your gaze trailed back to the tom next to you, Mudfur had already silently left.

"Do you think we'll ever be on a patrol that long?" You asked, pointing to the cats that had just returned.

"Yeah," Hawkpaw replied, "...I mean, I doubt Leopardstar will let us loaf in camp forever."

You rolled your eyes. "Well, if we get in her good side..." You pointed at Sasha.

Hawkpaw snorted a bit, then gave his chest a few licks. "I think your mentor would get tired of not being able to become an elder too. Look at her," Shadepelt was sitting near the warrior den, "...she's getting all cranky."

You huffed, "...she's always been like that."

The dark brown tabby next to you shook his densely furred pelt, as leaffall was approaching he had grown thick fur.  
"I'm sure it's the weather as well..." He looked up at the sky, sunhigh had just passed, "...prey's gonna get harder to find in the coming rain."

Your ears shifted, remembering the heavy rainfalls during leaffall. You weren't hateful of water, far from the opposite, but rain, you hated it.  
"Let's hope the rivers don't flood." Your fur bristled. "Yuck."

Hawkpaw chuckled at your reaction. "At least there'll be plenty of frogs."

You stuck out your tongue at him. "I bet you'll eat them all before I can see them!"

"I won't! Frogs are gross." Hawkfrost retorted, making a pouty face.

"Pffth!" You shoved his shoulder. "I bet you want to stay cooped up in camp all day."

"No! I wanna go hunting again too, you know." It was probably supposed to sound proud, but it came off more like a kit whining at bed time.

"Sure." You nodded with a grin. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Oh, just you wait-"

You were about to laugh when suddenly Hawkpaw tackled you- not hard, but it was unexpected so you fell either way.

"Oof!" You made, starting to squirm under the weight of his brown paws.

Hawkpaw grinned, looking down at you in triumph.  
"What now, (Y/N)?" He asked in a cooing tone.

You made a mischievous smirk at him, "Oh, don't think I'm just gonna lay here and take it."

The tabby lowered his muzzle to your face, "...and what're you gonna do about it."

You bit his nose. Ok, you nibbled it, but same thing except unharmful.

The apprentice yelped in surprise, and Hawkpaw snapped his head back up.  
You used the moment of confusion to swipe his paws away from under himself, and Hawkpaw fell shoulder first on the grass.

You slipped out from under him, and snickered in glee.

"Lucky shot." Hawkpaw commented, getting back on his paws. "You surprised me."

"What, you did that too!" You defended yourself playfully, and booped his nose. "Getting mad at your own methods?"

He sniffed. "It's only fun when I do it."  
Hawkpaw licked your paw that had just touched his nose.

You laughed. "Sure, if you say so."


	10. Ceremonial Humiliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upgrade to warrior yay

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather under the high branch!"

You perked your ears, and stood up with a stretch. Finally, something happened in this camp...

It had been seven sunrises since your assessment, exactly how much time Mudfur said you'd need to recover, and surely now would be your ceremony- hopefully.

Hawkpaw got up next to you, he and you were still sleeping in the medicine cat's den.  
Hawkpaw had recovered sooner than you, but you could tell he was pretending to still be a bit beaten up to stay in the same den; you couldn't blame him, you'd find it a bit scary sleeping all alone in the big apprentice den too.

"Morning." He greeted you, his voice raspy and laced with sleep.

You twitched your whiskers, "...morning."

The two of you walked out of the medicine cat's den, followed shortly by Mothpaw and Mudfur who seated himself next to you in front of his den.

Leopardstar was looking through the crowd of RiverClan cats, her golden eyes seemingly scanning for someone in particular.  
She glanced over at your direction, and her ears perked up.

"Mothpaw, Hawkpaw, (Y/N), step forward."

Your eyes lit up, this was it.  
The thing you had been waiting for for 14 moons, it was finally here.

You rather jogged forward, and the circle of cats shifted to make place for you and the two siblings.

You looked over at Hawkpaw, his gaze held a slight hinge of emotion, though his mouth was moved into a smile.  
You knew he wasn't one to be too expressive anymore, so him smiling told that he was happy as well.

Mothpaw looked different though.  
She looked nervous. Almost horrified, a little.  
Your mind came back to her wanting to become a medicine cat- was she thinking about that? Warriors could change to medicine cats, right?  
...  
Your ears flattened a little.

"I, Leopardstar of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down at these three young apprentices. They've worked hard to understand your ways of a warrior, and they've learnt your noble code over many moons."  
She looked down at the three of you, her gaze didn't really show much emotion.

You hoped she was proud though.

"I commend you these cats in return as warriors. (Y/N), do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to defend your clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

You nodded without hesitation, but with immense amount of determination. "I do."

"Then under the eyes of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. (Y/N), from this moment forward, your name shall be (Y/N). StarClan honors your loyalty and determination."  
(Great name change ik)

Her gaze wandered over to Hawkpaw.

"Hawkpaw, do you promise to be a full warrior of RiverClan, to protect your clan, to uphold the warrior code, even at the cost of your own life?"

The brown tabby lifted his head a bit, "I do."

You heard a whisper from the side. You didn't even need to look to know it was Sasha.

Leopardstar gave him an encouraging nod, "...then by the power of StarClan, I hereby give you your warrior name. Hawkpaw, from this moment on you shall be known as Hawkfrost. StarClan honors your intelligence and strength."

Hawkfrost's fur spiked up at his new name, pride, you figured.

You smiled at him as he closed his blue eyes, then looked over at Mothpaw.  
She didn't seem to like this.

Leopardstar seemed to notice her discomfort, but she proceeded anyway.

"Mothpaw, do you promise to protect RiverClan, to serve and withhold the warrior code, even at the cost of your own life, as a warrior?"

Mothpaw's golden eyes shifted around.

Why wasn't she answering? You knew she was nervous, but she wouldn't deny this, right?

"I can't." The tabby she-cat meowed.

The cats around you inhaled shocked, and some arguing murmuring started.

"What?" Leopardstar seemed genuinely confused. She looked slightly mad, her eyebrows were furrowed.

"I can't." She repeated with a lowered voice. "I don't want to take lives- I want to save them!"

Mothpaw desperately looked over to Mudfur, he looked rather calm compared to everyone else.  
Did he know she'd do this?

"Mudfur told me he wants me as his apprentice. I already sleep in his den, I treat patients- I don't want to be a warrior. I want to heal cats, not harm them."

Leopardstar growled.  
"And you've treated cats without permission! StarClan is to decide if you're worthy of the rank, and they clearly have not expressed interest in making you our healer."

Mothpaw flattened her ears.  
The voices grew louder.

You looked over at Hawkfrost, who just glared around.

"Mothpaw, from this moment onward you are to stay a warrior apprentice until you have learnt your place to express such nonsense." Leopardstar's voice was cold and hard.  
She didn't speak this tone often to you and your clan mates, but when she did it was better to be quiet and just nod.

The clan shortly chanted your new names- yours and Hawkfrost for that matter.  
Mothpaw left during the chant, her mouth trembling and fur bristled.  
You didn't see where she had went in the crowd, but figured she'd want to be alone anyway.

You took on your ceremonial night vigil right away with Hawkfrost, and the clan had went back to their usual business.

You didn't dare say anything, a bad feeling in your gut prevented you from saying anything, but you weren't supposed to speak on the vigil anyway.

Well, this wasn't how you had expected the ceremony to go.


	11. Moth Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Hawkfrost conduct a plan to convince the clan of Mothpaw's ability to become a medicine cat.

Hawkfrost was restless these past few days. He didn't like his sister sleeping alone, he didn't like being in that stuffy warrior's den.   
Even if it was with you.  
The fact his sister had to sleep alone in her nest in leafbare made him angry. She was probably freezing, she only had short fur compared to him. And she wasn't a big cat either - she froze easier.

"Hawkfrost," you mumbled tired, "...come on, lay down."  
The dark brown tom's icy gaze turned to you, he looked as if he was glaring, though you knew it was his normal expression and didn't flinch.

It hadn't been too long ever since you had become warriors, though you already felt Hawkfrost's aura had changed from that innocent apprentice into an intimidating, experienced warrior.  
How he had changed so quick... you weren't sure if you even liked this change of his.  
He was way colder now.  
Fitting, you supposed... with his cold eyes.

Your friend let out a small grumble, and he reluctantly laid down next to your resting figure.  
His chin immediately found the back of your neck, something he had just picked up on ever since the two of you had been sleeping together in the medicine cat's den.  
You weren't sure if you liked it or not, how that had stayed this way, but until you knew if you liked it you'd let him continue. You did like the closure of the muscular tabby.   
You felt safe with him around.

"Mothpaw's cleaning the nursery." The dark brown tom growled. He sounded irritated, stressed.  
Your head bent a bit backwards, telling him to take his chin off your neck.  
He did so, and the two of you replied to each other's gazes.

Hawkfrost looked away, his expression was unsatisfied.  
"I bet Leopardstar is trying to get her to become interested in kits." His tufted ears flattened. "So she'll get her head off of becoming a medicine cat."

Your ears angled, and you looked over to the nursery, hidden behind reeds and various other plants. You could see Mothpaw's skinny frame amongst all the green, slightly frost-covered plants.  
"I don't get it." Your eyes turned to Hawkfrost, who was still staring claws at the nursery.  
"Why does Leopardstar want to keep her from the position so bad?"

The dark tabby looked back to you, and gave a shrug, though it seemed like a shrug of irritation rather than not knowing.  
"I bet Sasha convinced her. Like always." You could see his claws dig into the ground. Hawkfrost had been getting more mad than ever at his mother, who was still loafing around camp uselessly all day.   
You couldn't stand that she-cat.  
Your head, just like Hawkfrost's, angled down.

It was silent for a few moments between the two of you.  
For some reason it felt uncomfortable.   
You didn't talk too much to Hawkfrost, understanding he liked the quiet more than an awkward conversation that both of them would rather be spending in comfortable silence.

"We need to do something," he concluded, his blue eyes looked at you urgently.   
Your ears twitched anxiously. "Something?" You echoed, not liking the sound in which he had spoken in.

Hawkfrost looked away and narrowed his eyes at nothing in particular.  
"So the clan finally accepts her." He muttered, a bit under his breath as if you'd get mad if he'd say it.

You took a deep breath, trying to relax again. "Yeah." You agreed with a nod. "It's getting ridiculous."  
You rested your head next to his white chest, the long fur tickled your forehead a little.  
"I mean, they accepted you as a warrior... why shouldn't they accept Mothpaw as their medicine cat?" You glanced up at Hawkfrost, and felt as if you had been caught doing something, his blue eyes were glued onto you in his regular glare.

You blinked to play it off and directed your eyes outside again.  
You heard Hawkfrost let out a mix of a groan and a sigh. So like, a non-weird moan.  
"When you're a warrior," he paused, looking around, "...it's not that important if you're morally right... it just matters that you follow orders and are strong."  
You could feel him shift a little.  
"When you're a medicine cat you don't... follow orders, at least not for treatment that much... you gotta think for yourself what's the best thing to do."  
His tufted ears twitched, it felt like he had thought about that a lot.  
Your gaze tried to get away from his face, but you found yourself not being able to pull away. 

"They're scared."  
You honestly were a little surprised at your own conclusion, but blinked, yeah, it was right.  
Hawkfrost looked back at you, he seemed a bit startled too.  
"Scared?" He asked, "...of what?"  
You gave a small nod towards him. "Of what you said. Having free orders. Choosing which treatment is the best, and not going after what others say is the best."

Hawkfrost's eyes narrowed whilst still looking at you, and he got uncomfortably close.  
"Are you scared of that?"  
His voice was sharp and testing, you figured he was trying to intimidate you to get an honest answer.

Your ears however only flicked and you didn't feel very threatened. Hawkfrost was your friend still, and you were pretty sure he wasn't about to bite your face in camp if he didn't like your answer.  
"Of course not," you pushed him away with your paw straight on his nose, "...Mothpaw's like a sister to me."

The dark brown tom gave a small grunt and rubbed his nose.  
"Well, she's not like a sister, she is my sister to me." He mumbled. "And the fact some cats still don't trust her?"  
He grumbled. "Makes me angry. We've been nothing but loyal for moons on end."

Your ears twitched a bit, starting to itch.   
You blinked again, now feeling a bit more relaxed as Hawkfrost's intense gaze was somewhere else.  
"You're right about the... the uh, the doing something." You twitched your whiskers a little embarrassed at being unable to echo his words.

He let out an agreeing grumble. "Yeah. I think I know what, too."

Your head turned to him, now intrigued by his words. He already planned something?   
This tom had gotten much more planned in the span of what felt like days. Just overnight he was a completely different cat.  
Where was that clumsy Hawkpaw?  
Honestly though, you snorted at his serious and cold side when just a few moons ago you two were playing with a bunch of tadpoles and he was crying about not liking the water.  
"What is that then, oh Hawkfrost?"

He glanced at you a bit warning, though you didn't think of much of it, you stopped your silly voice. He wanted this to be serious, and yeah, it should be.  
"A sign."   
His eyes were now back at you, waiting for your reaction.

You felt your eyebrows try to adjust to a reaction but couldn't find one that suited your mood.  
"A sign?" You repeated, "...you mean like, from StarClan?"

He gave a serious and determined nod.  
"If StarClan approves, they can't possibly look at her and go 'oh, what an evil rogue' anymore."  
His imitation of the clan-born cats sounded spiteful.

"I suppose..." You mumbled, a little unsure. "But, wouldn't that upset StarClan? Just sending out a fake sign?"

Hawkfrost rolled his iceblue eyes as if you had just asked him what moss was.  
"If they're so upset about it, we'll know." He replied in a certain tone.   
The large tabby got up from his laying position, and you watched him stretch for a few moments, his muscles tensing under his dense fur.  
...when had he gotten this muscular?? You looked away a little flushed when he noticed your staring at his... body.  
Honestly, what timing was this? You're talking about betraying StarClan and your mind just went to gawk at him, StarClan...

"So?" You could, you swore, hear him grin, figures he'd like someone staring at him in a positive way, but when you snapped your head back to him to give him half a glare he innocently was looking outside.

You made hesitant murmur in reply, thinking about it. If StarClan didn't want Mothpaw as the medicine cat's apprentice, they surely would have done something by now.  
You recalled Leopardstar calling for StarClan at Mothpaw's request at the ceremony. They hadn't done anything then- but honestly, what were they supposed to do? Make it rain moths? Yeah, sure.  
Besides, the clan really needed a stable medicine cat. Mudfur was getting old, and he wasn't immortal. It was hard to see the old tom fade in age, but it was inevitable. 

You nodded, now a bit less hesitant, but that initial thought of betraying StarClan was still there.  
Besides, if they really didn't want Mothpaw as the apprentice- they'd stop her at the medicine cat ceremony. The... acceptance one. The one you didn't really know much about.  
Mudfur had been the medicine cat ever since you were born.

You looked back at your friend, who was now looking at you with the same serious, cold gaze he had held since the start of this conversation. Wasn't it tiring, to be that serious?  
You shouldn't judge. You weren't a ray of sunshine either, you supposed.

"That's good." Hawkfrost spoke, now moving a bit closer to you.  
He nudged your cheek with his nose, then let out a growl of content. He'd purr, but you knew he found the noise weird. Maybe it was too vulnerable for him, as if it were beneath him.  
Still. You purred slightly in response.

You felt his head move a bit, you couldn't really see with his head right up in your face, and your ear tried to twitch as you felt gentle teeth on it.  
You snorted, "...are you nibbling my ear?"

Hawkfrost gave a sort of snort back, it sounded weirdly angry when he did it.  
"You want me to stop?" He asked, now his voice was laced with a bit of play that you had last sensed back when you were apprentices.  
Admittedly it had only been a few days since that, but it still felt like an eternity.  
You gave a twitch of your whiskers back, and put one of your paws on his chin, since most of his head was on top of you right now.  
"Only if I'm allowed to do that too," you meowed playfully, "...unless you're ticklish?"

Hawkfrost stopped. He quickly looked away at the mention of ticklish in an embarrassed manner. Seemed like that was your answer.  
And evil as you were, you knew what to do with that answer.  
"Ooh?" You nudged his white cheek fur with one of your toes. "Is the big scary Hawkfrost ticklish?"

He gave a grunt back, it probably tried to sound threatening to get you to stop but it honestly came across as a pouty kit letting out a growl because it didn't want to go to bed.

"Hmm..." You innocently looked up at the den's ceiling. There was a small leak. Drip. Drip. Drip. It had rained yesterday.  
"I guess there's only one way for me to get an answer to that."

You bounced your tail up and down, and let the tip of it brush over the back of Hawkfrost's ears, to which he visibly shuddered and let out a noise of surprise.  
He looked at you a bit startled.  
You gave the most dirt-eating grin possible back.

"No!"   
You did not listen to Hawkfrost's pathetic cry for you to stop. Today you were the stronger one.  
You had found his weakness.  
You brought your paws under his head, and rubbed where would be his neck, were it not covered in thick fur in preparation for leafbare.  
He seemed sensitive though. Seemed like that still came through because he squirmed and tried to yank his head back out.

"Stoop! Stop!" Hawkfrost probably didn't mean to yell between all his laughing. He still did though.  
"Today shall be the end of your reign," you dramatically spoke, "...your reign of glaring and being mad at the grass has come to an end!"  
"No!!!" Hawkfrost punched you square in the face.  
It hurt.

You two just kinda stared at each other, you holding your nose in disbelief and Hawkfrost looking like he was getting the most intense flight or fight response he had ever had.  
"...are," he seemed to try and scramble for words, "...are you ok??"

You took a few moments to process that he had even hit you.  
"I. I guess?" You started laughing.   
Hawkfrost stared at you for an equal amount of time you had before he gave a nervous chuckle as well. "Oh thank StarClan... I'm sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to hit you."

"It's okay!" You rubbed your nose a little, but the pain was already fading. "You didn't mean to."  
"Y-yeah!" He awkwardly looked away. There he was. The Hawkpaw you knew. Awkward and clumsy. "J-just don't, uh..."  
He looked around. Seemed like nobody had taken note of you mercilessly torturing your friend. And him smacking you in the face.  
"J-just don't do that in camp! I've got a reputation now..." He rubbed his cheek a little nervously. 

You raised an eyebrow. "Reputation?" You snorted. Of course big scary warrior Hawkfrost would call it that.  
"Yeah!" The brown tabby perked up his ears, seeming serious again. "It's not gonna clash well with letting some she-cat tickle me."

You felt a slight pang of hurt, despite him not meaning the 'some she-cat' thing. *Some she-cat*... Hm.  
"Well, alright." You grinned, masking over the weird feeling you got from his words. You poked his black nose with your paw. "But I swear, watch your back when we're on a duo patrol."

Hawkfrost gave a snort, looking away, then rubbed his nose. "Well, if you're brave enough to do that."  
He leaned forward. "Who knows what I'll do when you provoke me when we're alone."  
Your mind was immediately going to making kits but your more logical senses told you he'd probably just wrestle with you before he'd let you tickle him.  
You'd probably end up being the one being tickled.  
Curse this gigantic tom and his muscular strong legs.

"If you'll even be fast enough to catch me." You stood up suddenly, leaving your friend feeling a little weird as your familiar warmth left the nest.  
"Oh, I bet I can." He shook off the feeling and grinned, getting up as well.  
You let out a squeal, jumping out of the den. Hawkfrost wriggled his hindlegs, and pounced at you, though missed as you quickly stepped to the side.  
You gave a provoking twitch of your whiskers, and the two of you just kinda ran into the nursery like two wild apprentices.

"(Y/N)!" An unpleasant familiar voice hissed at you as you and Hawkfrost skidded to a sharp halt in front of the nursery's entrance.  
"What are you, a kit? Stop messing around!"

You eyed the pregnant she-cat, your former mentor looked quite funny, curled up scared in a nest in the nursery.  
Guess you were right as an apprentice, Shadepelt and Blackclaw had liked each other a lot.

"Greetings, Shadepelt."  
Before you could respond Hawkfrost did it for you, stepping a little in front of you, in what you thought seemed like a protective demeanor.  
"We're just here to see how Mothpaw is doing. We need her on a patrol."  
His voice was completely stoic and cold, that ticklish tom from a minute ago was long forgotten in those unforgiving, ice cold eyes.

Shadepelt seemed to respect Hawkfrost as she didn't say much more other than an uncomfortable grumble.  
You may not be scared of the large tabby next to you- but all other warriors sure were.

Speaking of Mothpaw, the golden tabby poked her head out from under a nest.  
"Hawkfrost! (Y/N)!"  
When she said your name it sure sounded a lot more pleasant.   
The small she-cat jumped out of the moss, and she padded up to you and her brother, who gave her an affectionate lick over her ear.  
Even through their separation, Hawkfrost still spent more time than ever with her.  
Luckily for Mothpaw he didn't show his ego-boost from being a warrior towards her. You were pretty certain he respected her like another warrior. After all, she knew just as much about being a warrior than you two did.

"Morning." Hawkfrost did the same mix of grumble and purr he had done with you to Mothpaw, and she purred right back. She would probably try to lick over his ear too, but he was a little too tall for her.

She looked up at her brother with her beautiful amber eyes, "...you said you needed me for a patrol?"  
She looked at both of you once, and Hawkfrost glanced at you for you to play along with his plan. Whatever it was, you trusted Hawkfrost with said plan, and saying no to Mothpaw's happily sparkling eyes would break your heart.

You gave a nod, smiling at her. "Yeah. Say, Hawkfrost..." You turned your head to him, "...where are we supposed to patrol again?"  
You were honestly teasing him a little, if he wanted you to play along he better be prepared.

The large tabby blinked a bit, you could see the spark of confusion in his eyes, but otherwise his expression stayed the same. If there was something Hawkfrost was good at, it was hiding his true emotions.  
"At the gorge," Hawkfrost meowed to you, "...I certainly hope there's no WindClan cats. You can never hear them with the loud water rushing..."  
He gave you what normally would be a wink, but instead gave you a flick with his ear so it wouldn't be too obvious.

Loud water? Oh yes, so nobody could hear.  
"I'm sure we'd be fine." You nudged him playfully. "With such a strong, fine warrior surely no WindClan cat will even dare to come close."

You could see Hawkfrost make a scoff under his breath, though it seemed he was embarrassed. Hah.  
He cleared his throat, "...well, let's go before Leopardstar gets on our case."  
He shook his head, his broad shoulders flexed as he relaxed a little.

You gave a slight chuckle, amused by the tom's sudden bashful nature. You looked back over to the apprentice, who had glimmering happy eyes.   
It must be absolutely astonishing for her, cooped up all day in camp and now she was finally able to go on a patrol!  
With her favorite two cats!  
Surely this wouldn't end horribly!


	12. Rushing ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkfrost and you tell Mothpaw about your idea.

As the three of you walked to where you were leading them all, you noticed Hawkfrost's gaze kept drifting off behind himself.  
You saw Mothpaw notice as well, and she intentionally slowed down as her brother was doing it, making the big tom walk right into her as he wasn't paying attention.

"Uff," Hawkfrost huffed as he unsheathed his claws, sinking them into the ground to not collide with her as much, "...sorry."

Mothpaw gave a small smirk back and shook her head, "...why do you keep looking back? Scared that someone is following us?"

Hawkfrost's ears pinned back at her words and his blue eyes darted behind himself without looking again.  
"...kinda." He muttered to himself and the golden tabby, and Mothpaw followed his glare for a quick moment.

"If anyone was, I doubt they'd be as good at hiding if it's the three of us..." The apprentice commented, and Mothpaw jumped back between the two of you. "Besides, we're three cats on a normal patrol! What could they possibly gain from spying on us?" 

Oh boy. 

The three of you arrived at the big gorge at the WindClan border before Hawkfrost could answer, and you eyed the thing up and down, still getting impressed by the sheer size of it every time you came here.

You noticed Hawkfrost's shoulders tense up at the sight, but Mothpaw didn't seem to mind any of it.

The brown tabby stepped closer to you, his dense pelt briefly brushing yours, you could feel the ends of it touching you just for a moment.  
"Kinda nervous," the tabby admitted as he swallowed down his nervosity, and he turned his head to you, "...should I explain?"

You lifted your head at his words, you could see the hesitation in his eyes as they glanced towards his sister, she was innocently looking at the rushing water like any cat would when coming here.

Your head was telling you to just go back and make this a normal patrol, but your determination for Mothpaw's sake was telling you to go through with it.  
You could tell that Hawkfrost was having the same thoughts.

"Mothpaw!" You called the she-cat over, and she flinched slightly at the loudness of your voice. You had to yell quite a bit with this waterfall next to you.

She came trotting over, her brother was now almost slumped behind you as if he was gonna get scolded any second now.  
"Yeah?" The golden molly meowed, "...something wrong?"

You gulped a little, and nudged Hawkfrost.

He cleared his throat and straightened himself a bit to look more controlled.  
"We came here for a reason," Hawkfrost started, his gaze now resting on Mothpaw like a protective mentor, "...and we've decided that... we should do something about... you."  
He pointed weakly at her as he said that last word.

Mothpaw's ears suddenly flattened at those words and a whole new expression of fear appeared on her face.  
"Me?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, but not in any bad way," you muttered, pushing Hawkfrost a bit. StarClan, he had to make everything sound like murder. "You want to be a medicine cat, no?"

Mothpaw nodded, but she seemed only vaguely comforted by your words. "I-I think that's pretty clear by now..."

"Right! So, Leopardstar was saying all those things about StarClan and signs and all that, right? Right." You nodded at your own words, now looking a bit to the side. "So, Hawkfrost and I were talking, and, we got an idea..."  
You nudged Hawkfrost a little.

"Ah, yes-" he nodded as well, "...we were thinking about... a sign. A faked sign."  
As Mothpaw's expression changed to that of disturbance, he added, "...only one sign! It wouldn't be bad, and if StarClan really, really wouldn't want you as their medicine cat, they can just... send a bad sign back?"  
He shrugged, trying to help his case.

There was a bit of silence between the three or you, Mothpaw's nervous shifting of her paws spoke novels about how she felt about this suggestion.  
"I don't know," she muttered, "...this... this is nice of you, you guys, but... I-I don't think we should be doing stuff like that... what if RiverClan finds out? We might all be banished!"

"We won't be," Hawkfrost reassured her, shaking his head, "...and if they do find out, it'll be easy to explain... that we found a moth in front of the medicine cat's den and just wanted to get rid of it!"

You blinked at Hawkfrost's sudden sign suggestion, but you had to admit it was clever. A moth definitely couldn't be read wrong.

"...right..." Mothpaw muttered, still shifting her paws unsure. "...okay... but... what if it doesn't- doesn't work? What if Mudfur will just... throw it away?"

"Do you really think he would do that?" You piped up now. Mudfur had been the most supportive cat of her decision, if anything.  
"Of course he won't! He loves you so much, he'd give you the position without any signs!"

Mothpaw's sigh said that she thought otherwise, but she nodded after a few more moments.  
"F-fine... but you'll two do it! I'm not getting banished for a moth..."

A grin spread across your face, and even though part of you said that this was still a bad thing to do, the other part just didn't care.


End file.
